DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have a great big old car and I love it. I regularly lend it to my kids, who are in their early 20s, with no problem -- nothing they can wreck. I never even lock it. A week ago I went out to use it and found a blanket in the back. Strange! Last night I went to take out the blanket and it was unfolded, and I found a tiny piece of a foil condom package on the floor. I'm not stupid. I know my car is being used as the lovemobile. I don't want the kids "doing it" in the car or in the house. Both boys have girlfriends. What should I do? -- Freaked Out Mom, Fort Garry
Dear Freaked: Talk to them about moving out and getting their own place so they can have intimate encounters that don't involve you. If they're old enough to have sex, and you don't want them having sex in the family home or in the backseat of your car, they either move to the garage, or get an apartment. An apartment would be warmer.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother smokes dope and lies about it. I can smell it on her clothes and can see her heavy lidded eyes. Last Saturday when I was cleaning the house (she forced me to do it) I decided I'd clean her room too and see what I could see. I found her stash, and it was enough to fill a whole cookie jar. I was so upset I called my dad and he came home from work. It turns out he didn't know she was buying her own -- just thought friends offered her a little toke here and there. They got into a big fight, and now she's blaming me. What am I supposed to do? I'm only 15. -- Daughter of Stoner, Tuxedo
Dear Daughter: You did the right thing by telling your dad. This is not a secret a kid has to keep or solve herself. The blow-out between them was also not your fault, because your dad needed to know his partner was buying and smoking a lot of weed. It is up to them to work this out together, and you can just step out of it. If your mom blames you, just say, "At school the teachers say, 'You made a bad choice.'" You don't have to apologize, except for a non-apology like, "I'm sorry you're unhappy." Live your life and let your parents come to a solution without you. You were just the messenger in this.