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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Tell that nasty barfly to buzz off
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I work with women on a ward in a hospital. I get hungry for the sound and friendship of men, other than doctors, who don't count. The other day I went to a bar alone in the afternoon when I got off shift, just to talk to some guys. I had a ball. I went back the next week -- but there was a problem. This older guy hit on me big time, and when I told him I wasn't interested, he said in an annoyed voice, "Go home, little girl." Can't a woman just go to the bar alone for conversation? Yes, I'm single, but I'm not looking for a man right now. I do love the male sex -- their voices, the different way they see things. Is there anything wrong with that? -- Embarrassed to Go Back, St. Vital
Dear Embarrassed: Go back there and quietly tell this idiot off, if you need to. Because you didn't want to have sex with him, his nose was out of joint. Too bad! You have every right to go into a bar and chat with people and enjoy the conversation. He's just a lounge lizard, which you must expect at a bar, usually in small numbers, but still an annoying aspect. Once you tell him nothing's happening and he can leave the bar if he doesn't like it when you come in, he might run and tell some of the other regulars. Big deal. They know who he is and why he's miffed and will not hold it against you. They might even be amused.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My fiancé says my nose is the only thing that mars the perfection of my face, and he'll pay if I want to get a nose job before our wedding next Christmas. I am seriously hurt by this and feel my sexual feelings for him draining away, although I still think I love him. Am I overreacting? I'm not 100 per cent sure I want to marry him now. -- His Fiancée, Winnipeg
Dear "His Fiancée": Don't define yourself as his possession. You are not his wife or almost-wife. You are quite free to cancel the wedding. Forgetting any deposits that may have been made towards this wedding, how do YOU feel now? That's all that counts. This man has shown himself to be an insulting and controlling partner, and it will only get worse. Do you want to end up one of these nervous, insecure, shrinking women with the critical husbands? I have had letters from women who are so afraid of gaining an ounce in a pregnancy they're scared to eat well enough for themselves and the baby. This is not a man in love and not the way married love should be. This is a man wanting a possession he considers physically perfect to show off to the world. Bid him adieu.
Please email problems to lovecoach@hotmail.com or write letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., R2X 3B6
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 15, 2012 D5
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