DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I tried to impress my new boyfriend by taking him outside the city and setting off some fireworks for his birthday. He did nothing to help with the buckets and sand, so I happily did it all, while he was sulking and upset. I finally asked him why he didn't like the fireworks show I had put on for him, and he snarled back, "Isn't that what a guy is supposed to do?" I felt all my excited and happy feelings go down the drain and felt angry about the money I'd spent on treating him to this show. When we got back into town, he insisted on going back to his place where he got aggressive into pin-her-down sex. Then he said, "That's what I wanted for my birthday," rolled over, and went to sleep -- no cuddling, no nothing. What's going on here? -- Just Trying to Make Him Smile, Winnipeg
Dear Just Trying: All the nice-guy readers are groaning right now. Why waste your creative efforts on this macho jerk -- a remnant of the '50s or '60s. Nineteen out of 20 modern guys would have had fun with the fireworks idea and enjoyed helping you. But for him, it wasn't about fireworks, it was all about losing his male role, so he just sat back and sulked and let you continue to annoy him because his ego is made of hot air and he wanted to bring you down. This insecure male needs to decide what happens, if anything, for entertainment in this relationship. He has to be in control of the traditional "man jobs" and the bedroom activities.
There are so many better guys out there now than this old-fashioned relic with the anger problem. Find a new guy who has a modern mom and dad and isn't overly concerned about who does what for whom, as long as you both pitch in and enjoy participating in life together.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: As someone who works late at night and is often on the road when people have been drinking and driving, I wanted to thank Worried Guy, West End, for his decision to hide his girlfriend's keys. It's not just her but myself, my sister, my nephews and nieces and mom who are out on the roads. I appreciate it. Thank you for having the courage. -- Grateful, Winnipeg
Dear Grateful: The guy who wrote was really worried about the issue of stealing, even stealing car keys from a drunk girlfriend. I was also grateful for what he did. I don't call stealing a drunk person's keys a bad thing. Sometimes asking a drunk person for their keys directly is a dumb method of trying to get them. I once demanded and took a drunk person's keys away from him at a party at my house. He was so angry he waited until I was out in the yard, snuck back into the house, rifled the drawers, found them and took them back. Then he drove home roaring drunk.
I call "stealing back" from me to go out and risk his own life and everybody else's on the road the real sin. People who drive drunk are not good people to hang with. This man should turf this girlfriend. If he lets the relationship run on to marriage and kids, guess who he's playing roulette with when she's drinking and driving?
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