12°c Overcast
17°c Cloudy with showers
Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
There is definitely a story behind sisters' violence
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife, 26, is a very outspoken woman. I usually find it amusing, but the other day she told off her equally mouthy younger sister and her sister slapped her a hard one right across the face. My wife slapped her right back and they started to push and hit and shove until their dad shouted and got between them. I stood there dumbfounded. I have never seen women physically fight, although I had heard of fights when these sisters were young and pulled each other's hair out. My wife was bawling when I took her home and she cried for about two hours afterwards. She finally slept but had nightmares all night. I'm beginning to think there's something horrible going on under the surface in this family. I am 28. I don't want to hazard having a child with a violent woman. What I saw was frightening. They wanted to rip each other apart. -- Worried Husband, Winnipeg
Dear Worried: Something has happened that causes them to react to each other like wild tigers. Once you find out what it is, it will help to make sense of the situation. As a person who did years of face-to-face counselling, I can promise you there is an untold story here that made them explode. If your wife can't get it out, ask her to get some help because her behaviour is really upsetting you. You might also approach her parents for enlightenment. If they won't tell, aunties and cousins are usually good sources of family history.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Every night before we got to bed my husband and I have the custom of having a slow dance in the living room. About six weeks ago, he just stopped coming to get me to dance. Unless I pushed him to do it, he wouldn't. He stopped calling me pet names, started coming home later from work and saying he had to go back to work. His weight started to drop and he joined a gym. Now I have found pamphlets about getting hair implants. He has new clothes at least once a week, and he plays new CDs of music I don't know anything about. I asked him what was going on and he acted really affronted and said, "Nothing whatsoever!" and then left the room in a hurry. I am aware these are all signs of an affair, but we've never had one disagreement that lasted longer than 10 minutes. We always had good sex and in the last few months we've had great sex, even though the dancing is gone. If he were having an affair, wouldn't the sex with me have tapered off? -- Doesn't Make Sense, Garden City
Dear Sense: Sometimes a new affair stokes a partner's general fire. Because libido is so high, the partly forsaken partner gets more sex than before, though not as much tenderness. You need to take him for a car ride to a park (away from any kids who might hear), then pull over and have a talk. Tell him you have noticed all the classic signs of an affair and you want to know who it is and if he plans to leave you. The saddest affairs happen when the marriage has been good and someone novel comes along and a still-loving partner jumps ship. It may not even be love, but overriding passion. We tend to think affairs happen because one or both of the partners have been cold or doing something wrong. But sometimes they just happen because a hot new match comes along and there's attraction, willingness, time and a place for privacy. If he won't tell you anything, tell him you will do whatever is necessary find out what is going on so you can make informed decisions. Ask him to go for counselling with you. If you can find out who she is, call her for a talk. Silence won't stop this affair, but exposure might.
lovecoach@hotmail.com
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition January 31, 2013 C2
More Diversions
- Back to Top
- Return to Diversions
More Diversions
(1 of 15 articles for this week)
Tell your 'best friend' to try women his age
1:00 AM 0DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Driving to the lake two weeks ago, I was sitting in the back seat. My brother was ...
Poll
Most Popular Diversions
- You need to vent and cry, then write a tough review
- US zoo looking into conception mystery after birth of anteater; no male in pen
- Today's Horoscope
- Tread very carefully in foreign romantic waters
- Your praise made this nerd look like a stud
- Hang on, McPuff; you're stepping over the line
- You're not blood relatives, but...
- There's more to the story than golf
- Today's horoscope
- Deer crashes through windshield of US bus, runs around, jumps on seats and then gets let off
- Your praise made this nerd look like a stud
- Hang on, McPuff; you're stepping over the line
- There's more to the story than golf
- You're not blood relatives, but...
- Tread very carefully in foreign romantic waters
- You need to vent and cry, then write a tough review
- Readers offer suggestions to keep the romance alive
- Tell Mom you saw her, teacher necking in car
- horoscope may 14
- Today's Horoscope
- It was 'just' sex to him; he doesn't want you around
- This town ain't big enough for both girlfriends
- Cheating ex-boyfriend not worth the heartache
- Go back to see him again, but keep eyes, ears open
- Tell nasty Miss Slappy that it's over... for good
- Time to pack up your new boobs, say goodbye?
- If you love ballet so much, why focus on pole dancing? Miss Lonelyhearts
- He's keeping his cross-dressing life in the trunk
- Go back to the bar and see if you can find 'john'
- Ask your mother, but do it gently
- Durango, Colo., area couple gives up fight to keep catwalk for kitties to leave 2nd floor unit
- US zoo looking into conception mystery after birth of anteater; no male in pen
- Today's Horoscope
- Durango, Colo., area couple gives up fight to keep catwalk for kitties to leave 2nd floor unit
- Woman, 80 accidentally swallows $5,000 diamond at Tampa, Fla., charity event
- US zoo looking into conception mystery after birth of anteater; no male in pen
- When nature calls: Kansas woman enters bathroom at same time as escaped circus tiger
- Today's Horoscope
- Calgary Stampede releases midway treats, including deep-fried butter
- Haiku horoscopes
- Can't keep a good dog down: 2nd-time competitor Huckleberry wins 'Beautiful Bulldog' crown
- 2 pounds of loose skin removed from Obie, the formerly fat Oregon dog; lost 40 pounds on diet
- Ask your girlfriend to man up and level with you
Ads by Google
You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is register and/or login and you can join the conversation and give your feedback.
Have Your Say
New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.
The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.