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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Threesome's lonesome turn could have many explanations

Posted: 09/4/2014 1:00 AM | Comments: 0

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: We live in a ménage--trois situation -- two women, one man. We're quite happy with it, except our man is on the road so much, we only get to see him on weekends, and that's not enough. We both entered into this relationship because we wanted more, not less, out of love and sex -- expanding our horizons.

When he gets home Friday nights, he's wonderful -- flowers for both of us, big bags of groceries and wine, and we spend a lot of time in the bedroom. We are young-ish (our 20s) with no kids in the picture. He is in his 30s.

I had thought I'd give this a year or two, as I love my girlfriend so much, but we are bisexual and we want our man-sex too. Also, and this is probably just my worrywart personality speaking, I think he has maybe gotten greedy by having two women. I secretly wonder if he's away so much during the week because he is seeing another woman on the road.

He used to make it home from his sales rounds two or three weeknights and now he's only back on weekends. Do you think he's played out from the weekend or is he maybe cheating on us? -- Worrywart Lover, North End

Dear Worrywart: There's a chance he's cheating, but how much energy does one guy have? He may be exhausted by Sunday night and then he has to travel and work for five days. On Friday he drives back to Winnipeg, does the shopping, and then the weekend's double-duty performance begins.

Certainly, the taboo against having more than one woman at a time is not there for him, but he may feel loyalty and love towards the two of you. A guy who has more love and sex than he can handle every weekend isn't exactly lonely. You phone him regularly and he calls you -- yes, no?

Having said that, if you're getting an inkling that something isn't right, obey your gut feeling and ask him if he's been expanding his scope to others. Don't attack him. Just tell him casually you notice he's away a lot more, and you wonder if there are any other women as if that'd be cool. Study his face and body language as he speaks, and go from there.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went to a movie with a woman and ate my usual large popcorn, large drink and candies. I offered to buy snacks for her; she said, "I don't want anything."

Throughout the show she kept giving me these looks. About halfway through, she kind of huffed, got up and left (I thought for the restroom), and she never came back. After the movie, I phoned her cell. It sounded like she had had a few drinks and was at a girlfriend's, who was giggling in the background.

She told me, "You are a pig with no manners!" She said I "chomped" the popcorn, "slurped" the drink and "rattled" my candy papers, and that I had made everyone around us upset. Beside that, she said I never offered her anything of my treats. Well, she told me didn't want anything to eat! It was a movie, for God's sake, where everybody eats popcorn and rattles stuff. What was I supposed to do? -- Struck Out For No Reason, Age 17, St. James

Dear Struck Out: You are not at the show with a buddy any more. How can you hold your date's lovely hand if yours is always full of food and drink? Here are some etiquette tips for guys entering the dating world of Movie Land: 1. It's hard to be delicate about popcorn chewing, so get a smaller bag and finsh before the feature; 2. Wrapper-rattling bugs people, so dump out the goodies before the movie starts; 3. Slurping a drink noisily is distracting, so use the straw carefully and don't vacuum the bottom inch out with it; 4. A date often wants a little popcorn after getting the buttery scent of yours for a few minutes. Offering to share is a matter of being polite and friendly, and may lead to kisses, which taste better than food.

Please send your questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition September 4, 2014 C2

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