DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I lost my heart to a guy in Puerto Vallarta on a November trip and immediately planned to go back down there in February to see him again. I impulsively bought the airline ticket as soon as I returned. He wrote me and said, "Please send me the money to come and see you in Canada instead." A little voice in my head told me this wasn't a smart idea, so I wrote him back and said, "It's too cold to come here, but I have my ticket and am still coming there." His reaction was cold and angry. "You don't trust me about the money!" he said.
Then we spoke on the phone. "The time isn't right," I said, and he replied, "Goodbye, beautiful lady," and hung up. Should I still go and beg his forgiveness? I was planning to go on my own so I could spend all my time with him, but now I am thinking he may not want to see me any more. I don't kid myself it was more than a holiday romance since I met him on the beach, but he was really sweet and we got along so well. Should I stay or should I go? What is your take on this? -- Suspicious Mind, South St. Vital
Dear Suspicious: This "relationship" is finished, beautiful lady. His angry reaction to not getting a bunch of money sent to him tells you the real story. That brings us to the trip decision. If you are going to lose ticket money, or if you really want to experience the weather again, you should go, but don't make the mistake of going back to that same beach. Go with a friend to a place near Puerto Vallarta, like the popular surfing town Sayulita, or funky Bucerias or historic Mismaloya. These towns are just short bus rides away. You can book a little hotel when you get there, or reserve it online now. Do not make the mistake of going to look for this guy. Where beach-boy romances are concerned, you really can't go back.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had been planning to give my girlfriend the big diamond engagement ring on New Year's Eve and just picked it up, but last night she told me, after half a bottle of red wine, "I love you, but I hope you're not thinking of getting married right away. I don't want that for another few years." I put the ring in my bank's vault this morning. I feel kind of robbed. I was planning a big surprise engagement; now it's all off. She asked me if I'd like to go to a big social with her friends on New Year's Eve and I said no, rather loudly. I don't think she knows how hurt and foolish I feel -- not to mention how broke I am now -- and all for nothing. I bought her something unrelated to the engagement for Christmas, but I really feel like sticking it to her at New Year's. -- Hurt and Embarrassed, St. James
Dear Hurt and Embarrassed: Clearly you and she are not on the same page. Consider not hanging on to that ring for several years to find out if she wants it then. The relationship might be over by that time. Talk to your jeweller today. Most have return or exchange policies if you get the ring back to them within a relatively short time -- like 30 days, or even 60 days -- but likely not after two or three years. If it's already been sized to fit your girlfriend, it might be more difficult to return, but jewellers are sometimes quite kind to customers who have been disappointed.
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