DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a gentleman last year, and thought he was too good to be true. He has three grown-up married children living in other cities. He has met all of my family. I have not met any of his friends. When his son/daughters come to visit, I do not see him. When asked why I haven't met them, he doesn't have/give me an answer. Question is: What is he hiding? Do all men say nice things to hear themselves talk? Whatever happened to honest, decent men? Are they a thing of the past? -- Totally Confused
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: If a man is truly into you -- no matter what his age -- he wants to introduce you to family and friends and brag that you are his lady. If he is not into you big time, he can't see the point. When you ask this man about this, and he doesn't give you an answer, how can you just let it go? Where is your backbone, girlfriend? Lack of an answer is a reason to walk. Give this guy the breeze. If you can't do that, and need more encouragement so you are finally free to find mutual love elsewhere, read the book He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. And don't cheat by watching the movie by that name. It isn't nearly as effective as the book for changing thoughts and behaviour.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My spoiled young wife, who doesn't work, is lying on our bed crying her eyes out right now. She does this whenever she wants to get her way, and it usually works because I have a lot of money and I love her to death. Today, I'm writing you instead. What she wants is more money to go to the States to see her mother again. She's now going about every two months. She doesn't even like her mother. Honestly, I'm afraid she's seeing somebody else from her past, and I am the fool who is paying for it. What should I do? I love her so much I haven't snooped -- it's just a gut feeling I have. I'm confused because the ex-fiance is a guy she dumped, so I figure it couldn't be him. Or could it? -- All Messed Up, Winnipeg
Dear Messed Up: Enough is enough. There comes a time when you have to snoop. Finance one last trip to the States and use the time to search the house, car, her drawers, old suitcases, pockets in her closets and her computer. If necessary, get a computer-savvy geek to help with the latter. If she is back with her ex-fiance, you need to know now. Nobody goes home to see the mother they don't get along with every two months. Unless you are extremely insecure and jealous, one's gut is generally right when something is up. In a romance, your gut instinct is fed by sights, snippets of overheard conversation, new words and sexual actions picked up from another lover.
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