DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband wanted me to get a breast enhancement and so I recently got one for him for our fifth anniversary. I had to tell the doctor I was the one who wanted it. I'm a former model and liked having small ones and going braless. On the weekend my husband said, "the doctor didn't made them big enough" and I should go back. I screamed, "They are just right for my frame!" He happens to have a small endowment of his own and I yelled HE should be the first in line for the next enhancement. As you can imagine we are not having sex, maybe never again. He has totally clammed up, and didn't come home until 8 a.m. this morning. I guess I was supposed to be horrified and up pacing the floor, but I was sleeping like a baby. So nice to have him, and his little demands, out bothering somebody else. I said a pleasant good morning and carried on getting ready for work. And here's the shocking part, I wasn't acting. I couldn't have cared less. That's after five years of mediocre marriage, his vanity, selfishness and no babies at his insistence. He's also stingy with his big bucks. Maybe it's time to blow him off. What do you think? -- Had it Up To Here, Winnipeg
Dear Had It: The reason for this marriage seem to be superficial in the first place -- money, looks, body part sizes, arm candy. The opposite of love is not hate -- it's indifference. But are you truly at that point? You may be too numb. Clearly, he was trying to make you feel like someone else finds him hot, and staying out all night is a dealbreaker for most couples. Underneath the initial indifference, you may be boiling mad! See a relationship counsellor to get all your feelings -- or lack of them -- out on the table and express them freely. You should realize you're deeply disappointed and angry about something else too -- the lack of babies. If you truly don't love this man, you may want to leave for the possibility of a deeper love and babies.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I walked past a colleague and heard him telling something that was supposed to be a secret within our management team. I went up and stood by his desk until he saw me, turned red, and hung up on this person. His girlfriend works here on another floor and is not part of the management team. I asked who he was discussing it with, and he said her. I said "Not cool. I'll talk to you later," and went into my office. That was several days ago. I haven't spoken to him about it. Should I warn the boss? -- To Tell Or Not To Tell, Broadway
Dear Tell: Have a longer talk with the person you caught right away. He's waiting for it and probably nervous. Explain to him that while the company tolerates in-house romances, they don't condone his leaking classified information to partners, no matter how much he thinks she can be trusted. If it's not a life-or-death thing, tell him to have a talk with his girlfriend about the mistake he made, and leave it at that. Is it really worth two people possibly losing their jobs? Maybe not. One thing you can be sure of -- if they do get fired, that particular secret and others may get out to the company at large.
Questions or comments? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6