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Try bringing exciting online fantasies to life

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I became addicted to porn in high school and I still don't find "real sex" with my live-in girlfriend anywhere near as exciting as what I find online. I'm not supposed to be viewing porn anymore, but it's pretty easy to see it on my iPhone and my girlfriend never gets access to that. It stays in the locked glove compartment of my van. Am I still addicted? No, I'd say, because I have to go out to my van on breaks at work or at lunchtime during the week, and it's kind of risky. I don't do it more than three times a week. On weekends, I'm at home with my girlfriend or out with friends. Sometimes I want to break up with my girl so I can get back to having free access to my porn at home. Is that sick? Most guys would give their right arm for a girlfriend that looks like mine does. -- Never Really Satisfied Anymore, Winnipeg

Dear Never Satisfied: Well, you certainly get points for being honest, and you're not alone. People who get hooked on Internet porn, and all the fake drama that goes with it, sometimes find real sex with a partner emotionally satisfying, but physically dull. Ironically, their real-life partners can also find real sex with a porn-addicted partner boring. Why? Because the addict doesn't even try to have wild fun. Theyre just going through the motions -- between exciting sessions with the screen -- where they can fantasize being the wild man with the enhanced body parts, with the wild female stranger who's screaming for him. Fantasy on screen often comes closer to fantasies of the mind than regular sex. It's up to you to try to bring some of these fantasies into your real love life as long as they are negotiated ahead with your partner, who may be delighted, or disgusted. Take a chance. She may be bored with you, too.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am appalled by the women who write your column looking for an excuse not to sleep with their husbands once they reach menopause. They want to move right out of the bedroom because they get night sweats. That's ridiculous! I am the same age as my wife and I'm not looking for an excuse to reject her or stop having sex with her just because she's getting hot flashes and night sweats. I committed my life to her and I'm not backing away now because she has a little grey hair and a fat stomach. She's still the woman I love and desire. I don't look anything like the guy she married, either, with my big stomach and no hair, but I am still that hot guy underneath. What is wrong with people these days? Go with the flow, people. Marriage is about staying close, and moving out of the bedroom is the beginning of the end. -- Loving Her Forever, Fort Garry

Dear Loving Her: You make sense. I hope your wife stays as steadfast and loving as you clearly are towards her.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I would like to made a comment about the lady with menopause problems. I used to have very troubling symptoms: sweats, being cold, and most annoying, mood swings and just wanting to scream. It was driving me to distraction until I saw an ad regarding a menopause seminar. I went to the seminar and then made an appointment at the Mature Women's Clinic at Victoria General Hospital. To make a long story short, I was soon back to normal. -- Hormonal Relief, Winnipeg

Dear Relief: Thanks for sharing your tip. Here is a link: www.vgh.mb.ca/mwc/clinical_menopause.html

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Menopause problems? Talking from experience, using a salad dressing made with apple cider vinegar helps and taking vitamin E helps symptoms. The lady who wrote can find apple cider salad dressings on the Internet or can change her regular vinegar to apple cider with equal parts sugar, vinegar and oil. -- Been There, Used That, Winnipeg

Dear Used That: Thanks for the recipe, but please write back and say how much it took to have the desired effect for you.


Please send questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 7, 2013 C4

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