DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a beautiful young woman downtown in June, having lunch at a little park. We talked a lot for the first month. She brought a little picnic blanket and we shared our bag lunches. Then one day she had a problem at home and started crying. I automatically took her in my arms to comfort her and we ended up falling back on the grass in a long and passionate kiss. That was the start of something. I thought we were involved in a full-blown emotional and physical affair, though we never did the wild thing. Neither of one is terribly unhappy in our young marriages, but when I saw what was missing from mine, I was shocked. Two days ago I asked her if she would consider leaving her husband to be with me, and she looked at me like I was crazy. She got up and ran! Today she wasn't at our meeting place for the second time. I'm sick to my stomach. I tried phoning, emailing, texting, but she isn't answering. What should I do? -- Used for the Summer, Portage & Main
Dear Used: Lunch Lady was "fooling around," but you were letting your heart go. She may not have known, or maybe she did. Perhaps it was a free ego-boost -- until two days ago. Then she realized she had seriously led you on and ran. Email or text her just one more time, asking for a talk. If there's no reply, you have your answer. If you don't care about your young marriage anymore, you have a serious decision to make. Staying with your young wife, as a kind of consolation prize for YOU (for losing your summer girl) is not fair to her. But, if there are little children already, and you think the marriage has a chance of getting back on track, do get some counselling and try to infuse your relationship with time, attention and affection. New research says kids hide their pain from their parents' divorce, and suffer a lot more and for much longer than they show to the world.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm 14 and I spent a lot of time at camp this summer where I met someone who means everything to me. We have seen each other back here in the city, but it seems a lot less romantic without the lake, beautiful trees, moon and stars. He's really cute and nice, calls me a lot, and seems to want to continue. But, we can't drive and we live two bus changes away from each other. He hates taking the bus and tells me, so I take the bus to him 90 per cent of the time. We don't meet in the middle, because that's downtown where our parents don't let us hang around. What should we do? -- So Far Away, Wpg.
Dear Far Away: Living so far apart, with no cars to drive you -- except the parents -- must feel like living in a different city. You are at a crossroads now. You can let things get supremely irritating and wear themselves out (mostly for you) by doing the three-bus trip there and back in cold weather, or you can make a deal right now. You can decide to end it, be free for the time being, and go back to camp again next year if you both want to, and resume your romance if there's still a big attraction. If he wants to continue seeing you now, he has to take turns doing the long bus trips and that's that.
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