Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Try to outsmart your mom when she comes to visit

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My mother is just starting to lose her marbles and she's stealing things from my house -- stuff she doesn't even need. The woman is wealthy, for heaven's sake. My dad died and left her tons of life insurance. But she still seems to think she's poor. She always comes for Sunday dinner with my aunt (whom she lives with) and she will nick something. Last weekend she stole a roll of toilet paper, and before that it was a brooch. She forgot and opened her purse to get her gloves and I caught sight of it sparkling. I pulled it out and said, "Mom, why are you stealing from me?" and she said "I'm not stealing anything. I gave you life, little girl!" I am 65. She seems to think everything I own belongs to her. I don't know what to do, but I am uneasy now, and she's coming for Mother's Day. I shouldn't have to nail everything down. Help! -- Upset Daughter, St. Vital

Dear Upset: Mom's getting a little bit dotty, which means you probably don't have that many years with her left. So, make it a little game and outsmart her. Take her purse when she arrives and put it up high so her favourite carrying vehicle is gone, and then secretly move her coat to your bedroom and lock the door to keep your jewelry safe. If you see something poking out of her clothes, quietly take it back, give her a hug and say nicely, "Mom, we can buy you one with your big bucks next week" and get right on to the next topic! Old relatives are bound to get a bit squirrelly -- and so might you, one day. Don't make a big deal out of little things she tries to pinch, and enjoy her. If she's losing parts of her socialization, you should get her in to a see a doctor who specializes in geriatric issues and who may be able to slow down the deterioration.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I saw a hot-looking man on the bus who intrigued me. He was reading a book that looked very interesting -- it was about sex and romance. I noticed he wasn't wearing a ring so I sat beside him as soon as the seat beside him became vacant. I asked him about the book and he finally turned to me and said, "Are you hitting on me, lady?" Well, I almost swallowed my tongue. I said, "No, of course not!" and jumped up to get off the bus at the next stop. I thought men liked it if a woman showed interest in them. What did I do wrong? I was just expressing some interest. Jeesh! -- Wrongly Accused, Southdale

Dear Wrongly: What you did was over the line, hot stuff. You spotted a good-looking guy reading about sexy stuff and hit on him. He called you on it, and who can blame him? If you were reading and a man moved from his seat and plunked himself down beside you to talk about your sexy book, would you feel he was hitting on you? Yes, you would! Try to see the humour in this -- you could dine out on this tale for years. (Next time, try to be a little more subtle!)

 

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 12, 2012 G3

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