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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Vocal coach, kinder girlfriend can help alter vocal pattern

By: Miss Lonelyhearts

Posted: 05/31/2012 1:00 AM | Comments: 0

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have a tendency to say everything twice, particularly the last words of sentences, because I'm so unsure of myself. It started when I was seven. I know this drives my girlfriend crazy as she hears me most. The more I think about it happening, the more nervous I get, and the more I repeat myself. I'd like to get this stopped. Don't tell me to go to a speech therapist -- I tried that in school, and it didn't work for me. Recently I lost my keys and had to phone my girlfriend. I sounded like this: "I am sorry, sorry. I lost my keys, keys. She said sarcastically "No problem, problem. I will wait at the restaurant for you, you!" I felt so humiliated by her snarky tone of voice I almost didn't go to meet her. What can I do? Who else would have me? -- Double Talk, Portage & Main

Dear Double Talk: The right combination for you could be a psychologist to get at the root of your nervousness when speaking, and a voice coach to guide you into a confident new way of expressing yourself. A hypnotherapist can quickly get at the reason for this vocal pattern, but you need a professional who does that in combination with therapy so you're not left dangling if it's a traumatic situation. Actor Morgan Freeman admits he changed his voice -- even the pitch -- with a voice coach, as he had a high voice when he first got into acting. I will send you some suggestions and numbers for Winnipeg. Consider a kinder girlfriend as part of the overall solution.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: On the way home on the bus from work, this cute guy about 25 sat down beside me and started to flirt. He was easily 15 years younger, but I'm young-looking for my age, and I didn't care. When we got close to his stop, he took out his business card and gave it to me and asked me to call him. He didn't say why. He just gave me a wink and got off the bus in a nice neighbourhood. I've never thought of myself as a cougar before, but I am up nights having hot cougar-ish thoughts. He was the best-looking man who's flirted with me in a decade and he was built and it was clear he was attracted to me. Was I just a joke to him? Does he play a game with himself on the bus to see if he can get older women to call him? Or, was he sincerely interested? Should I call him? I believe I have seen him on the bus before but didn't take much notice. Do you think he has been watching me? -- Intrigued But Cautious, St. James

Dear Intrigued: He gave you his card but he likely isn't expecting anything. If you see him again and he comes to sit with you, ask some questions about his life. Find out who he is or who he says he is. You need to know what he does for work, if he's married, what he's up to flirting with ladies on the bus. Don't call him with the little bit of contact you've had so far, but do try to draw him out and see what the story is. It'll certainly make the bus ride interesting, and you won't appear to be an easy mark.

You can email problems to lovecoach@hotmail.com or write letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., R2X 3B6.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 31, 2012 D5

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