Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Work affair plucks petals of virtuous flower

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Eighteen months ago I fell deeply in lust with my single boss at work, who returned my feelings. He couldn't, however, come on to me, so we spent a lot of time secretly gazing at each other. We kissed goodbye once at a Christmas party planning session when nobody else showed up and blamed it on the drinking we did while waiting. Three weeks ago someone accused me of having an affair with him, and I was furious. I yelled at her.

I had been the virtuous flower so long and was seen as guilty anyway, so I sent him a note. Within 48 hours, we were in bed. I asked him. I even made up a paper and signed it that said I came on to him and there was never any sexual harassment. I gave it to him in bed and kept a copy for myself. He smiled. We met two nights later and it was like wildfire again. Now I'm seeing him every night. Unless I make a complaint about sexual harassment, there is no problem, right? -- A Little Nervous, Winnipeg

Dear Nervous: If you roared with righteous indignation at your accuser, the denial may have rung true to her, but, it's pretty hard to shield your co-workers from the cloud of pheromones now you're truly mating. If he's not at the top of the power heap, people could complain to his boss or human resources about the interruption in the flow of command. So, if this is going to be a real love affair that grows and lasts, is it possible for someone to change companies without losing a lot of money? Some companies smile on couples at work getting married, blessing it more than an affair. How does this man feel about this "fling?" That's the missing piece of this puzzle. Is this a fun affair he hopes will settle down one day and possibly fade into friendship, or is he falling in love as well? Perhaps it's too soon to tell. Good luck in hiding it now. You're going to need it.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a woman at a St. Boniface bus stop and we talked on the bus all the way to my stop. I don't know where she got off. I wasn't nosy enough to ask and I didn't want to scare her, but now I'm getting tired of going to the same stop at the exact same time to try to run into her. How do I find her? Have I... Blown It? Winnipeg

Dear Blown It: Yes, you have blown this chance, unless fate intervenes somehow in this small city. Learn from this: You always need a business card in your pocket to give to a woman. Scribble your phone number in big numbers on the back in front of her with the words, "Call me!" Then tell her your full name and ask only for her first name -- that's the best thing a gentleman can do. The important thing is to seize the moment before it gets away forever. People who are free and looking for love have to be courageous.

 

Please send your questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition September 10, 2013 D2

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