Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

You and your wife need counselling

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm watching my whole life blow up in Winnipeg and I'm out here at the lake. I took the kids to the lake for the summer, so my wife could work, and she thanked me by seeing her old boyfriend at our house all night -- a guy she works with at their insurance company. I am totally broken up. She says not to bring the kids back here, because it is way too hot in the house. As my best friend pointed out, she will do what she's gonna do even if I'm in town to watch her more closely. What my friend doesn't know is I cheated on my wife and got caught in the winter, so this is payback. I found out about her cheating from the woman I thought I loved. She lives half a block down from our house. She's still in love with me -- but I want my family together. This woman has been keeping an eye on my wife because she hopes to get me back. It might work. What should I do now? -- Stranded With the Kids, Lake of the Woods

Dear Stranded: Come home from the lake unnannouced and see your wife and a counsellor at the same time. The kids will be glad to see their friends for a bit, and there are community swimming pools all around. Nothing is going to be solved by your staying at the lake, feeling helpless. You need to know things. Is this the way she's telling you she wants a divorce or is she just getting you back? Is she in love with this insurance guy? Are you in love with the woman you still talk to down the street, or is she truly past tense? Clearly she wants you. Whatever you do, your kids should not be in the house when you have your talks as it can mess them up badly. A counsellor's office is safer because it's private and you have a referee with training on how to resolve issues. Make sure the counselling includes how your wife feels about working in the hot city while you're out at the lake for the summer with your kids. No doubt she's jealous and resentful about that.

Dear Miss lonelyhearts: I'm falling in lust with the fellow who does the landscaping at my large acreage. He is about my age -- kind of old for a job like this -- but he says he loves the outdoors and he has the muscles and the tan to prove it. When I have him in the house for drinks and lunch, he has been friendly and interesting and intelligent and he looks so sexy. I don't know what his marital status is, but he doesn't wear a ring. I'm afraid to ask. -- Great Shape for My Age, St. Andrews

Dear Shape: This guy is working for you, so you are the boss and it would be sexual harrassment if you came on to him. He may really need the work -- and for all you know he may have a wife and kids. If you find out he's single -- ask next time you see him -- you might call him up after the seaon is over and ask him out for a drink -- but that still puts him in a difficult situation if he wants to say no. Best to be kind and fair! Leave this man as a fantasy, and be aware you are ready to look for a new guy, and it's time to make it a project. Adventures for Successful Singles (775-3484) might be a good place to start as their sports, arts and social activities go all summer.

Please email your problems for Miss Lonelyhearts to lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters to 1355 Mountain Ave., R2X 3B6.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 24, 2012 C4

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