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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
You need a combo platter, not the bad-boy special
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm in love with a bad boy, the kind l've wanted all my life. He is in love with me, but he has a rubber neck. He stares at the top or bottom of every waitress who walks by and makes no bones about it. "Nothin' wrong with lookin'," he says. Yet, if he catches me staring at a guy's butt, he tells me, "Little girl, your days with me are numbered." I know I'm too much of a goody-two-shoes to last with him, but I love him. How do I get over his wandering eye? I don't think he cheats on me but I don't know. -- Good Girl, River Heights
Dear Good Girl: A girl like you is much better matched with a guy who is a good boy in the outside world, but is a bad boy in bed. The bad boys through-and-through will make a wreck out of a goody-two shoes. Once your parents have been horrified enough by this fellow, move on to find the combo guy.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I woke up this morning, looked into my angry young wife's face, and wanted to run away from the marriage. As usual, on a weekend day, she was holding out a list of errands and jobs she demanded I get up and do. I saw my mother's face float in front of hers. I was shocked to finally realize I had married the younger version of my mother. My father caved in to my mother every time she got on his case, and I despised that. Now here I am with a list of work dangling in my face, when all I want is a little sleep or her to come back to bed and make love with me. She stood there dangling this thing in my face until I grabbed it, ripped it up, and threw it on the bedroom floor. She's not talking to me except for bare necessities. Needless to say, we've had no sex since. We have no kids and are in our late 20s. Should I leave her before we have kids? -- Not Her Slave, Winnipeg
Dear Not her Slave: No need to run away, but it's too bad you let it get to this point. The early cure for "the list" is to make a list for her, and present it while she's still in bed. In fact, wake her up to do it. But at this late date, you need to have a talk about the demanding mother flashback and how you can't continue playing these roles. See a counsellor right away and get yourselves back to the people you were before the marriage with a new plan in place for handling work and errands that involves sharing Saturday errands and lunch afterwards at your favourite spot, and lovemaking when you get back home in the afternoon. Too many young couples go from fun human beings to clones of one of their parents once the wedding and honeymoon are over because they don't know any other pattern. A relationship counsellor can explain the many different templates for a marriage.
Questions or comments? Please email lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition March 22, 2013 D4
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Tell husband you're not talking to her... maybe tell him why
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