You need to decide how much of a hairy deal to make this

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife is rebellious, and it doesn't take much to start her off. I commented on how I like it that she shaves her armpits and legs, and she argued with me about the social pressure to do it, and quit shaving that week. Now for some women this would not be a big deal, but my wife has thick black hair and a mustache, if she doesn't bleach it or wax it. I'm scared to say anything complimentary about her denuded lip or she will soon have a better mustache than I could ever grow. Last night took the cake! We went to a gala and she wore a beautiful expensive strapless gown. Every time she raised her arms, everybody got a flash of thick black underbrush. It looked awful, but I was too cowed to say anything when we got home. Is it too late to use reverse psychology on her? -- Damned If I Do? St. Norbert

Dear Do: How can you win? If you lie and say you're getting to like "the natural look" now, she won't believe you. If you say the extra hair decorations look awful at a formal party and it's embarrassing when she wears a dress, your rebellious wife will grow more of it. Does she care what you do with your body hair? Would it be any of her business? You'd better think this part out. And gentle readers, please write in if you have any ideas for this man, other than to button his lip which is the obvious half-solution.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A few months ago, I went to my home city for my mom's funeral and stayed with my sister for a while to settle the estate. Not long after the funeral, my sister and I had a huge argument and she literally threw me out the door, suitcase and all. Why? I have a cousin of the same age with whom I'm very close, and every time I went home to visit my mom in the past, she always took me out for dinner. This time was no different, except my sister figured she should be invited, too. I told her this was a special time for my cousin and I, as we both have kids close in age, and we like to talk about our children non-stop. My sister is widowed and never had any kids. My brother came to rescue me off the street. I'm going back next month to my home city for business soon and I'll be staying in a hotel. I'm debating if I should let my sister know I'll be there. What should I do? -- Ambivalent Sis, Winnipeg

Dear Ambivalent: What if your sister died suddenly and you were on the outs over this incident? Under this feeling of annoyance, you are still sisters and must still love each other. God knows we humans can dislike people we love, but we should try to blast past that and get back to the warmth and closeness if we possibly can. Write her a nice letter/email and tell her you're coming to town and you'd like to buy her drinks and dinner and have a nice time. There's no need to rehash the hurtful incident over dinner, but in the invitation letter acknowledge you understand how left out she must have felt when she was excluded because she didn't have kids. You need to say that, so she can get past it, and be sure you wouldn't hurt her like that again. If she is dragging her feet (because it might be awkward) invite your brother and make it a siblings dinner. It's a start.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A year ago, a platonic male friend of mine ran into some financial problems and was looking for a cheaper place to rent. I invited him to live in my attic room until he could get back on his feet. Last month, he moved out while I was at work, without giving me any warning or explanation, or even a forwarding address. He even took the cat we adopted. I suspect he got jealous of my new boyfriend, as I think he was secretly falling for me. Although I'm heartbroken over the cat, I'm glad he's gone because I didn't like him "that way." My problem is he owes me money. I have no idea how to find him, as he changes jobs like most people change their underwear. What should I do? -- Disappearing Act? Wpg

Dear Act: When you want to find people, go to their mothers, siblings or old friends, merely asking for an email. Those are given out much easier than telephone numbers or addresses. Do you really want that money back badly? You could threaten small claims court, if you think he has anything to pay you. If not, ask for the cat back, in lieu of a court case. Or, you can just chalk it up to experience, get yourself a rescue cat, and let this thing go. It's not worth worrying about, especially if there's nothing to be gained financially, and it's going to make your blood pressure go up.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition March 28, 2012 D8