11°c Overcast
16°c Isolated showers
Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
You need to find out more about your son before writing him off
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: This is a horrible thing to admit, but I don't like one of my children as well as the rest. I have tried, but this boy (now 11) is negative and grumbly, introverted and unaffectionate towards me. I have had him tested for the autism spectrum, but that's not where he's at. His father, who lives in Alberta now, was much the same kind of man, so I guess he comes by it honestly. I don't want to treat him differently from the rest of the kids (two brothers and a sister by my first husband) but he is just not as likeable. Somebody suggested I take him out alone to do a few things, but I can't imagine either one fo us wanting to spend that much alone time with each other. He's always on computer, facing a screen. What do you suggest? -- Exasperated Mom, Winnipeg
Dear Exasperated: Treat this as a puzzle. Who is this boy in his brain and in his heart? He needs to be loved for the person he is, not in spite of it. Find out about his intererests on the computer and familiarize yourself with the games he likes. Find out about tournaments he might enjoy. Talk to each of his teachers and see if he has bonded with any of them and what his interests are in different subjects. Does he have a pet to love? Would he like one? Who are his friends? Would they like to bring computers and come over for an afternoon/evening and you would buy pizzas for them? You need to know his heart too. Is he missing his dad a lot? Could they Skype? Is he depressed? Ask his siblings about him privately. They will know him better than you do. What does he hope for? What sports does he like? Is he interested in music, theatre, improvisation? He may never be a ray of sunshine, but he might be a serious sweetheart of a guy. The good news is there are very few people we wouldn't like if we knew them to a depth.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Five years ago I met a cute woman who was drunk at a Christmas party and we bonded over singing Christmas carols, accompanied by a tambourine. She was engaged to a quiet nerd, who was at home sick. I pursued her relentlessly but she would never do more than kiss me. A year later she married her boring high school sweetheart. I gave up totally. This week, to my shock and amazement, the new person hired for my department turns out to be HER. I have been feeling messed up ever since. She is still attractive, not wearing wedding rings, and rumour has it she's separated with two kids. I have been tongue-tied in her presence except to stutter "It's great to see you." Now what? -- Crushing on Her Again, Downtown
Dear Crushing: Let me tell you a female secret. Every woman has a shelf in the back of her mind -- and on it are images of guys who liked/loved her at one time. You will be prominent on that shelf this week, without saying anything. Since her ego is probably in need of a boost, she may come on to you (although needing a job to support two kids might be a deterrent.) If she does try to yank your chain, your attitude should be a kindly, "You had your chance way-back-when, and now we work together." Think of her as a beautiful land mine! Hitting on workmakes is always a bad idea, and recently-separated people are big trouble. For all you know, she may be going to counselling with her ex, and hoping to reconcile. So be kind and nice, but non-compliant. Don't mention the butterflies in your stomach, or give her any clues you are titillated by the sight of her -- and whatever you do, don't go drinking with her after work.
Please email your problems for Miss Lonelyhearts to lovecoach@hotmail.com or send letters to 1355 Mountain Ave. R2X 3B6
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 2, 2012 D3
More Diversions
- Back to Top
- Return to Diversions
More Diversions
(1 of 15 articles for this week)
Today’s Horoscope
1:00 AM 0MOON ALERT We have the all clear today to do business and make important decisions. The full moon peaks in ...
Poll
Most Popular Diversions
- Don't wear yourself out trying to win her back
- Negotiate deal with your wife that works for both of you
- Woman run over three times by her own car
- Today’s Horoscope
- Tell the building manager and the peep show will end
- Today's horoscope
- Tell your dad what you think
- Veterinary surgeons remove basketball-sized hairball from tiger in US that stopped eating
- Tell husband you're not talking to her... maybe tell him why
- Tell your 'best friend' to try women his age
- Tell your 'best friend' to try women his age
- Tell husband you're not talking to her... maybe tell him why
- Tell your dad what you think
- Don't wear yourself out trying to win her back
- Tell the building manager and the peep show will end
- You need to vent and cry, then write a tough review
- Negotiate deal with your wife that works for both of you
- US zoo looking into conception mystery after birth of anteater; no male in pen
- Today's horoscope
- Today's Horoscope
- It was 'just' sex to him; he doesn't want you around
- Cheating ex-boyfriend not worth the heartache
- Go back to see him again, but keep eyes, ears open
- Time to pack up your new boobs, say goodbye?
- Your praise made this nerd look like a stud
- Tell your 'best friend' to try women his age
- You need to vent and cry, then write a tough review
- Ask your mother, but do it gently
- He's keeping his cross-dressing life in the trunk
- Go back to the bar and see if you can find 'john'
- Durango, Colo., area couple gives up fight to keep catwalk for kitties to leave 2nd floor unit
- Woman, 80 accidentally swallows $5,000 diamond at Tampa, Fla., charity event
- US zoo looking into conception mystery after birth of anteater; no male in pen
- Today's Horoscope
- Calgary Stampede releases midway treats, including deep-fried butter
- Haiku horoscopes
- 2 pounds of loose skin removed from Obie, the formerly fat Oregon dog; lost 40 pounds on diet
- Ask your girlfriend to man up and level with you
- Albertan's $15.8M lottery win all because he listened to his wife
- Smokejumpers parachute into illegal marijuana garden in US national forest
Ads by Google
You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is register and/or login and you can join the conversation and give your feedback.
Have Your Say
New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.
The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.