DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just wanted to comment on Yummy Mummy. As an older man, I'm divorced and non-committal -- for all the reasons you listed in your answer (lost money and property, children, still angry over first breakup). I would like to add that most women today want all the perks of being equal when it suits them! But for dating, the man must still pay and make the plans. So do women want a man or a mouse, as it pleases them at the moment? -- Don't Understand, Winnipeg
Dear Don't Understand: If you're dating "yummy mummies" with children at home, be aware that the support they may get is nowhere close to half of what it costs for raising the kids. In order to go out with you, the woman must pay a babysitter, sometimes buy appropriate clothes -- all of that costs. It's not surprising they hope the man will pay. And, many men your age also give off the message they want the role of making those decisions. It's a good idea to take turns making plans for a special night out -- which determines the cost -- and to treat each other by paying when it's your plan.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I moved from Winnipeg to Toronto last summer to be with a woman I met online a few years ago. We get along great some days, and others we fight very badly. I have bouts of uncertainties, and it hurts that I can't see what made me want to make the big move. She's been through two very tough years of not feeling well, and it has changed her. I want this to work but am struggling with communication and how she can get, at times. We also haven't clicked sexually as well as before. Am I better off to walk away, or try harder? -- Mr. G., Toronto
Dear Mr. G.: Try as hard as you can for four more months, and then move back if you've had enough. A relationship never has a better chance than it does in the warm weather. And remember, no serious relationship can be successful if it's based on pity. Is yours? You knew she'd been sick for 18 months when you moved there. Did you think your moving would make it better?
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