Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Your experiments are nobody else's business

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: You know that song I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It? Well, I'm female and I kissed a girl, and I didn't like it much. I was curious so I did it at a party. In fact, I necked with her for a bit, but it was just an experiment. People are saying I'm a lesbian now. Am I? I never want to kiss a girl again. I did it on a dare and I was drunk. Am I even bisexual? -- Worried Sick, Age 14

Dear Worried Sick: Sounds like you're neither lesbian, nor bisexual. People can conduct experiments in life that don't necessarily define their sexuality. Of course, if you're back doing the same experiment every weekend, or every time you get drunk, it probably does mean something. To shut somebody up, just say candidly. "Haven't you ever conducted an experiment? It helps you to know." And then walk off, with your head up. You don't owe anybody the results of the experiment.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Falling down the stairs at a party with my husband and others behind me, I had half a sensation somebody pushed me. It was only a few steps but I broke my ankle and it hobbled me and I couldn't go out without crutches for months. He found it somehow amusing. "Look at you on crutches -- hahahaha!" He stayed out a lot and was mean to me, like I was a burden. Finally, my best friend came over, pressed some $100 bills in my hand and said, 'I saw him with a woman. Use this to find out who it is." I got him followed, and within 48 hours I knew it was an affair with someone from his work. I left him and moved back with my folks. It still haunts me that he may have pushed me with an intent to hurt me. I have no proof, just a sensation. Thank God, there are no children. -- Divorcing Him, Winnipeg

Dear Divorcing: Don't stay silent. Tell your lawyer this and ask him to relay this to your ex's lawyer. Your ex-husband needs to know it is on record that you suspect he may have pushed you down the stairs. If you keep quiet about such things, dangerous people have room to try something else. But, if your ex gets word through his lawyer, he will step back and want to stay away from you. Do everything through your lawyer now -- no verbal contact, no notes, no emails. Block your ex from your phone and computer. Make a wide chasm between you and your ex, that exists forever more. We are always wise to obey "spidey senses" and stay far away.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition March 15, 2013 D4

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