DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm kind of in shock. My wife and I went down to open our remote little cabin, and you'll never guess what we found. There was evidence of a man and a woman living there over the winter. We were shocked. They didn't do anything to ruin the cabin, In fact, they improved it and cleaned it, even washing cupboards before they went on their way. Everything is fixed and gleaming. We have way more firewood nicely stacked with a makeshift roof over it. Our closest neighbour said he never saw anything, but he's 15 minutes away by car and doesn't always tell the truth. We don't know whether to be shocked or feel blessed. Were they ghosts or squatters? We didn't lock the doors because we have nothing of value and it could be a lifesaver to someone lost in the bush. I guess they found the door open and felt welcome to come in. We don't know how to feel. Should we start locking the cabin? -- Trusting Souls, Lake Country
Dear Trusting: Your letter makes me smile. Maybe there's a law of the bush, like marine law on the ocean, but I don't know of it. There's no need to feel afraid of these people returning in the warm seasons. You certainly don't owe it to anybody to leave the door unlocked next winter as this is 2013 and they knew they shouldn't be staying the season. This is one of those lovely mysteries of life you and your wife can muse over, if you're the easy-going type. If not, you can call the police. But if you really feel kindly disposed towards sharing your little cabin with these people, you can leave the door open again, and say nothing.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife has horrendous long scratchy toenails, which she thinks are funny. She gets a kick out of "accidently" scratching me in bed. I think it's gross and tell her so loudly, but she laughs like a hyena. It completely destroys the mood for love and she couldn't care less. Sometimes I think she's trying to get out of having sex with me, but I'm scared to ask her that for fear of the answer. We don't have a lot else going for us as a couple anymore, as I got a big education and career the last seven years and she's still in the beauty business and not doing much. -- Unhappy Camper, Winnipeg
Dear Camper: It's not about the scratchy toenails, it's about the scratchy relationship. You two need to get into couples counselling and figure this relationship out, before there are any babies on the scene. You look down your nose at your wife over the imbalance in education and sophistication and she knows it. In return, she's showing disrespect for you and a deep-down desire to hurt you with her "silly" toenail attacks. That, plus a lack of interest in sex and intimacy, spells trouble.
Questions or comments? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6