Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

You heard them here, but only here

  • Print

Twelve cartoon-voice things we probably won't hear Oscars host (and Family Guy creator) Seth MacFarlane say during Sunday's Academy Awards show:

"On your mark, get set... terrible!" (because there's no Rob Lowe/Snow White musical number to open the show).

"Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?" (because it's the Oscars, not the booze-fuelled Golden Globes).

"Oh, that's nasty." (because it's been years since Cher was a presenter at the Oscars).

"Giggity giggity!" (because, well, just because).

"Victory is mine!" (because Ted was somehow excluded from the best-picture category).

"Ladies and gentlemen ... Mr. Conway Twitty." (because, hopefully, Sunday's show won't reach that desperately-need-a-distraction stage).

"Shut up, Meg!" (because Meg Ryan isn't nominated and therefore won't be making an acceptance speech).

"Take it up with my butt, cause he's the only one who give a crap." (because criticism won't matter to MacFarlane, who has already said he has no intention of hosting a second time).

"Oh, my God ... Who the HELL cares?" (because everyone knows that introducing the Pricewaterhouse Coopers accountants who count votes and deliver the envelopes is an unavoidable, contractually mandated part of the Oscars telecast).

"That's freakin' sweet!" (because Sofia Vergara is a presenter at the Emmys, not the Oscars).

"You shall rue this day! Well, go on ... start ruing!" (because we're pretty sure MacFarlane isn't going to take a Ricky Gervais/Golden Globes scorched-earth approach to hosting).

"Damn you all!" (because nobody says "Damn you" to Jack Nicholson).

 

-- Brad Oswald

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 23, 2013 G2

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Trucks power through flooded underpass at Main St and Higgins

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • BORIS MINKEVICH / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS  070527 The 21st Annual Teddy Bears' Picnic at Assiniboine Park. The Orlan Ukrainian Dancers perform on stage.
  • A Canada goose protects her nest full of eggs Monday on campus at the University of Manitoba- Standup photo- Apr 30, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

What do you think of Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s comment that Tina Fontaine’s slaying was a crime, and not part of a larger sociological problem?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google