Will People Like Us like Ted?

"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows," but these days, a guide through the seemingly endless flurry of pop culture is just what we need.

With that in mind, here is what's on the radar screen in TV, music and film for the coming week.

MOVIES

Ted (June 29)

Big picture: Imagine a Care Bear with the libido of Charlie Sheen and the combined appetites of Cheech and Chong. "From the creator of Family Guy," tells you all you need to know about Ted. Either you love the twisted, unapologetic, amoral and profane comedy of Seth MacFarlane (confession: I do) or you find it distasteful and stupid. Directing and writing his first motion picture, MacFarlane introduces us to John (Mark Wahlberg), a man who brought his childhood teddy bear to life with a magical wish -- and is still suffering the consequences. Mila Kunis stars as Wahlberg's doe-eyed, increasingly frustrated girlfriend.

Forecast: It's Frosty the Snowman meets Family Guy, with a touch of Pinocchio (though I doubt it's Ted's nose that grows when he lies). MacFarlane himself voices the perverted, potty-mouthed little bear. Fans of his voice work will find it hard to separate Ted's voice from that of The Family Guy's dog Brian. But since Brian is one of the cartoon's funniest characters, Ted could cast some irreverent comedy-magic.

Honourable mention: People Like Us. The new Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) forms a landing party and spends some time on Earth as Sam, a man who finds out he has a half-sister named Frankie (Elizabeth Banks) and a nephew. He must decide whether to give them $150,000 from his late father's fortune. Given Sam is broke, it's a tough call. My question (and the way I settle almost all decisions in my life): What would Spock do?

TV

Big events: Final Witness (June 27, ABC/Citytv, 9 p.m.)

Big picture: Summer is a time for guilty-pleasure reading -- murder mysteries and detective novels are a staple at the beach or cottage. For those who prefer their stories told on the small screen, Final Witness offers a seven-part series focused on real homicides. Each week tackles one case that -- in a unique and slightly eerie twist -- is told from the imagined vantage point of the victim.

Forecast: Fans of true crime will get their fill with scripted dramatizations of each homicide, along with real-life accounts from witnesses, police investigators, lawyers and victims' family members. Personally, I'd like to see a TV studio offer something a little more fun -- maybe a series on pop culture crimes. Example: Jon Bon Jovi's hair in the '80s, with scripted dramatizations of the singer's interaction with hair stylists and first-hand accounts from bandmates, roadies and traumatized groupies.

MUSIC

Big releases on Tuesday: The Offspring (Days Go By)

Big picture: It's been a long time since the refrain "I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem" seemed to dominate every radio station and every video rotation on MuchMusic and MTV. Days Go By is the ninth album from these California punk rockers and offers mixed results. Cruising California (Bumpin' in my Trunk) seems fabricated to make the band seem youthful and hip -- and destined to become a background track on TV's Gossip Girl or 90210. But a number of punchy, hook-driven, body-surfing numbers -- such as Secrets from the Underground and Slim Pickens Does the Right Thing and Rides the Bomb to Hell -- find the band in vintage form.

Forecast: The album's release date intentionally falls on the 20th anniversary of the band's seminal masterpiece, Ignition. Frontman Dexter Holland's vocals remain one of the band's compelling strengths and slick production from Bob Rock (Metallica, Aerosmith) helps ensure Offspring fans have something to help the summer days go by.

Honourable mention: R. Kelly (Write Me Back): Given the R&B singer's troubled history, this album's title forces me, in good conscience, to offer Kelly some advice: Make sure your pen pal is over 18. I might be going crazy, but I also have a sneaking suspicion that Kelly stole my high-school poetry book. Sample album lyrics: "I believe that love is . . . you and me together for eternity / I believe that love is ups and downs, storms and rains / Through the joy and through the pain."

-- Postmedia News

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 9, 2012 A1