Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

óè

Your most endearing

Traits are your honesty and

Your deadly flame-hands

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

óè

There's a wolf outside

Your door, and sorry to say

That's no metaphor

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

óè

Some strong coffee is

What you need -- only coffee

Breaks the mummy's curse

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

óè

Bank robbery is

Not what it used to be -- you

Need to change careers

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

óè

It's not polite to

Show up for afternoon tea

Naked -- wear a hat

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

óè

Keep a clean kitchen

And keep a clean mind, and keep

Cleaning my kitchen

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

óè

In chess, the best move

Is the move no one can see

Coming -- the side kick

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

óè

Spilled something and stained

Your shirt? The good news is my

Prophecy's fulfilled

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

óè

If you don't yet have

A blog, start a blog about

How you have no blog

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

óè

Capricorns are kind

And yet astrology is

A total sham art

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

óè

You're a brave soul and

We're all counting on you to

Defeat the Cyclops

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

óè

Your dream of falling

Asleep and having a dream

Will never come true

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 1, 2012 C2

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