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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Haiku Horoscopes
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
óè
Give your possessions
Away to the first person
Who suggested this
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
óè
Due to inflation
The best things in life now cost
Thousands of dollars
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
óè
Your fortune will change
For the better once you bribe
Your constellation
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
óè
Worship the ancient
God Zeus -- that might finally
Get him off my couch
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)
óè
Naming your cat "Dog"
Was clever, but naming your
Child "Rat" just seems cruel
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
óè
You lack talent and
Skill -- so were born in the right
Cultural decade
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
óè
It's not too early
To start thinking about how
To blackmail Santa
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
óè
You want your screenplay
To sell? Well, the plot makes sense--
That's your first problem
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
óè
Life would be a lot
Easier if you gave up
Drinking with panthers
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
óè
The last thing the world
Needs is your novel about
Vampire novelists
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
óè
On second thought I
Am copyrighting the "Vamp-
Novelist" concept
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)
óè
Sorry, if I take
Time to predict your future
My hourly rate dips
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 22, 2012 C2
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