Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

óè

A delicious pie

Would really hit the spot, but

Archers don't like that

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

óè

You will know you're a

Success when Bill Gates lifts the

Restraining order

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

óè

The Dragons' Den will

Like your plan to kidnap a

Princess and hoard gold

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

óè

If killing others

Is a crime, then you will have

A difficult week

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

óè

You're too sensitive --

The best solution is to

Remove all your nerves

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

óè

There are always two

Sides to a story: your side

And society's

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

óè

Take your act on the

Road -- that's the best place for a

"Chicken crossing" act

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

óè

Transit rates will rise

With current fares doubled to

Two souls per rider

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

óè

You can learn a lot

About life by observing

How others don't die

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

óè

Get a haircut but

Get a fake job -- nobody

Tells you what to do

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

óè

Your novel about

Magical green creatures called

The "murfs" sounds awesome

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

óè

Your joke about how

You "approve this message" is

As fresh as ever

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 29, 2012 C2

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