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Haiku Horoscopes
Knocked Up
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Articles
Leonard Cohen (ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Gotye
Kermit (POSTMEDIA)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
óè
Math isn't your strong
Suit, so I don't know why I'm
Counting syllables
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
óè
Resist temptation
But don't resist arrest -- you
Have had it backwards
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
óè
The true test of your
Spirit comes when Anubis
Is offered your heart
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
óè
Show your love with a
Tattoo of your beloved
Riding a dragon
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)
óè
Break the ice with a
Gas-powered drill -- essential
For any party
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
óè
I don't know what you
Expected, inviting those
Vampires to your house
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
óè
Try to have the strength
And wisdom to say "no" to
The eighteenth doughnut
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
óè
If at first you don't
Succeed, well, that's probably
An indicator
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
óè
Eating that whole pie
Will cause a lot of anger
Amongst the blackbirds
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
óè
Sometimes you just have
To lay back and relax and
Wait the leeches out
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
óè
Those cute bunnies won't
Be so cute after they start
Their own militia
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)
óè
My prediction is
That you'll become jealous once
Your dog is famous
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 20, 2012 C2
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