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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Haiku Horoscopes
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
The perfect New Year's
Resolution is to break
Your resolutions
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
"Why not slip me a
Fin, daddy-o?" You are a
Master of street slang
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
By this point, all of
Your "Mayan apocalypse"
Cards should have been played
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Don't get too nervous
But Justin Bieber might show
Unannounced, to fight
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)
The coldest winter
Is not as cold as the heart
Of a spurned wombat
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
An incredible
Future awaits you, in which
Horoscopes won't lie
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
Life would be a lot
Easier if there were some
Sort of "pause button"
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
Anxiety is
Not your friend, although it has
Known you the longest
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
Your "Justin Beaver"
Joke will never get old, nor
Any less funny
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
Try not to lose the
Holiday spirit before
You steal its powers
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
I'm too hungry to
Predict your future, but will
Predict that chicken's
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)
I'm not sure if that
New Year's Baby is supposed
To be mugging you
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 27, 2012 ??65534
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