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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Haiku Horoscopes
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Eating fish WAS good
For your health, before the fish
Found out where you live
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
The "terrible twos"
Doesn't refer to those twins
Trying to kill you
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
The worst thing you could
Do right now is agitate
The second cobra
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
The demon that gave
You career advice thought you
Had great potential
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)
Even the coldest
Day will be warmed by the fires
Of apocalypse
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
Nostrodamus once
Predicted that no one would
Believe his nonsense
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
At least one evening
Per week, make time to listen
To the ghost's demands
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
You will know you drank
Too much coffee when you're told
This by the devil
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
Your bean problems don't
Amount to a hill of beans
In this crazy world
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
You need to shrink your
Belly, and the best way is
Clearly a shrink ray
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
Contemporary
Art makes more sense
when you know
It means to harm you
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)
Though it seems real to
You, hallucination best
Explains Winnipeg
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 7, 2013 A1
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