Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

óè

Beowulf's mother

And Grendel's mother need to

Call off that play date

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

óè

You're so dramatic!

The clown job will make use of

That Shakespeare training

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

óè

You can drive a horse

To drink but you shouldn't let

That same horse drive drunk

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

óè

You're responsible

For power corrupting, so

Spider-Man tells us

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

óè

The world needs you to

Finish and publish that book

About vampire teens

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

óè

Rumour is that Time

Magazine has named yours the

"Snakebite of the Year"

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

óè

Training those wombats

To fight crime is the best use

Of your tax refund

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

óè

It may seem early

To think about tax refunds

But it never is

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

óè

My legal team says

I'm never allowed to speak

Of wombats again

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

óè

In the theatre

Of life, your play "Booty Shake"

Reveals some deep truths

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

óè

Who are we kidding?

I can barely go two days

Not saying "wombat"

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

óè

Don't forget! Today

Is Valentine's Day and your

Love's almost expired

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 14, 2013 C2

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