Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

óè

You may never learn

Where Waldo is, but do kill

Him upon first sight

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

óè

Don't let common sense

Stop you from achieving your

Dream to run with knives

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

óè

For legal reasons

I advise you to stay out

Of Taurus' way

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

óè

The spirits of the

Trees are tracking how much you

Use toilet paper

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

óè

The UFO you

Saw did not come from the stars

Just from the future

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

óè

The mighty, bearded

God of mighty beards has heard

Your prayers for beards

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

óè

The Church of the Rock

Will turn out not to be as

Rockin' as you hoped

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

óè

One double-double

For me! No, not coffee -- two

Sets of twins, moron

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

óè

Boost your confidence

By completing easy tasks

Before world-saving

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

óè

News flash! It turns out

Superman DID make money

Fighting S. Grundy!

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

óè

Your love of kittens

Has gone too far -- they cannot

Replace employees

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

óè

The worst has come to

Pass -- by which I mean you have

Passed all of your tests

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 21, 2013 C2

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