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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

Posted: 02/28/2013 1:00 AM | Comments: 0

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

óè

The best way to raise

Your home's value is slaying

The backyard dragon

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

óè

It isn't over

Until it's over, so when

The druid allows

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

óè

The police are on

To your plan to become a

Police officer

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

óè

Your days are numbered

Ever since you purchased that

Deadly calendar

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

óè

Your hunger will not

Be satisfied until you

Eat the zombie's brain

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

óè

Terror at Fear Cove

Is not subtle, but a good

Name for your romance

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

óè

Be careful -- they all

Suspect that you are not a

Natural bluehead

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

óè

O Muses, sing to

Me the epic story of

Honey Boo Boo Child

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

óè

Country music is

Long overdue for a song

About dog zombies

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

óè

The excitement and

Danger of Extreme Quilting

Is the perfect rush

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

óè

The evolution

Of music will be complete

With your next burp-song

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

óè

Inhale, exhale -- you

Are in a rut. Shake things up!

Tell me how it goes

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 28, 2013 c2

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