Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

óè

Your synth-pop band needs

Something more to reach the top...

Possibly a synth?

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

óè

You definitely

Want your guests to feel at home

Inside your car's trunk

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

óè

"Honour" is something

You don't understand, since you

Never learned English

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

óè

Try not to get too

Carried away by the hawk

That will swoop at you

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

óè

Your health care needs will

Increase when you're diagnosed

As fourteen people

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

óè

Your killer good looks

Will make you the target of

A police manhunt

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

óè

"Nobody's perfect!"

Um, you can't just say that when

You shoot somebody

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

óè

There's no future in

A career in predicting

Futures -- ironic

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

óè

Paper or plastic?

Which do you want for dinner?

Prepare for hard times

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

óè

Do not throw out the

Baby with the bathwater!

You can sell babies

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

óè

A penny saved is

A penny the government

Will eliminate

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

óè

Balance your budget

All you need is a scale and

A winning ticket

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition March 7, 2013 C2

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