Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Should you ever feel

Alone, just remember that

Your house is haunted

 

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You cannot deny

Your attraction to that guy

With all the magnets

 

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

"You Only Live Once!"

Thanks, Drake, for refuting all

Those Buddhist beliefs

 

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

A knife fight may be

A good way to pass the time

But there are better

 

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

Don't mind me or the

Wires I'm hooking into your

Brainstem -- just relax!

 

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

You have lived proudly

And inspired many -- no, wait

That was Mandela

 

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

My prediction? You

Giving that gremlin water

Was a clever move

 

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

In your heart, you know

That blood is being pumped all

Around your body

 

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

At difficult times

In your life, take courage from

The wizard of Oz

 

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

You can't change people

Unless, of course, you start to

Date Potato Head

 

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

Though Pacino is

A great actor, he can't feign

Interest in your kids

 

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

As technology

Changes, your toaster will get

Much smarter than you

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 4, 2013 ??65534

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