Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

You want to paint like

The great masters? Study their

Style -- and eat their hearts

 

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Never be afraid

To be yourself -- unless, of

Course, you're a Taurus

 

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Fear nothing -- no, not

Even that monster only

Weakened by true fear

 

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Do not envy what

Others have -- your disease is

The rarest of all

 

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

Learn an instrument

There's no better stress relief

Nor neighbour-stress cause

 

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

"In one ear and out

The other" -- an unnerving

Ear doctor motto

 

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

You're in the prime of

Your life -- the most tasty time

Beware cannibals

 

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

Am I crazy, or

Does being Scorpios mean

We share one body?

 

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

Regular square dance

Lessons could really help you

With your alibi

 

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

You need to make a

Major life change if you want

To be a doomed ghost

 

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

You'll be promoted

Into leadership in your

Ravenous wolf pack

 

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

Please don't send any

More angry letters saying

Your horoscope's wrong

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition October 10, 2013 ??65534

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