Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Last-minute costume

Ideas: Rob Ford, Hannah

Montana's ghost, frog

 

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Do you have a nose

For news? Give that nose back to

Its rightful owner

 

GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUNE 20)

Got lemons? You know

What you can make with those -- some

Lemon hand grenades

 

CANCER (JUNE 21 - JULY 22)

Popcorn is often

A healthier snack choice, but

Avoid possessed corn

 

LEO (JULY 23 - AUG. 22)

Enjoy the finer

Things in life -- like silk bathrobes

On deranged monkeys

 

VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEPT. 22)

A coat of fresh paint

Can revitalize a room

Or a depressed clown

 

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

Beware Halloween

Candy that looks suspicious

-- it could be a spy

 

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21)

Birthday wish or death

Wish? Well, I suppose only

Time will tell us that

 

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21)

Before you decide

To do anything, ask: is

It "Raven" enough?

 

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)

Soon graves will open

And the dead will rise to walk

The land -- should be cool

 

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18)

Don't forget that the

Origins of Halloween

Are irrelevant

 

PISCES (FEB. 19 - MARCH 20)

If they are polite

And ask, you should let vampires

Suck a little blood

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition October 31, 2013 C2

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