Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Do you ever think

There must be more to life than

This? Turns out you're wrong

 

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You'll draw a lot of

Stares this week -- it's just because

You're a minotaur

 

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Everyone else is

Too polite to tell you, but

I will: you're a ghost

 

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Don't you ever think

Maybe it's time to give up

Your dream to be king?

 

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

As a Leo, you

Are prone to believing in

Astrology crap

 

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

You'll find yourself in

A sticky situation

When ice bees swarm you

 

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

That's right -- bees made out

Of ice -- I don't see what's so

Hard to understand

 

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

Something you might need

To start worrying about:

Jackrabbit zombies

 

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

Try meditation --

Then you can say you're busy

While doing nothing

 

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

Your dreams will come true

This week -- at least the dream where

Monsters eat your eyes

 

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

Someone is trying

To poison you! How do I

Know? OK, it's me

 

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

Take your secrets to

The grave -- especially your

Grave-digging secret

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 6, 2014 C2

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