Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Haiku Horoscopes

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

It is a good week

To visit old friends that won't

Expect to be robbed

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Help others when you

Can, and hurt others when they

Won't let you help them

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

"The King in Yellow" --

Maybe not the best name for

Your daycare centre

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Every day, try to

Put a little less poison

Into your body

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

Everyone has a

Weakness -- yours is kryptonite!

Avoid kryptonite

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

A fondness for cats

And a parasite from cats

-- Your best qualities

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

Nothing's funnier

Than your expectations for

The future this week

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

An evil dragon

Wants to kill you? I don't see

What the big deal is

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

Werewolves will surround

Your house soon, but they just want

To check out your ride

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)

Your worst fears will be

Realized when Dracula

Bites Miley Cyrus

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

Devote what remains

Of your life to putting this

Newspaper away

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

"No shirt, no shoes, no

Service" -- I spy a loophole

In that policy

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 8, 2014 C2

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