Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Don't flirt? It can hurt your chance of success

It's the hoariest of clichés, but a new study finds women can indeed flirt their way to success.

Just as Mad Men's Joan Holloway charms the pants off her adversaries (sometimes literally), researchers say the right balance of friendliness and flirtation gives women an edge in mixed-sex negotiations. Across multiple experiments with nearly 300 people, "feminine charm" -- think flattery, warmth, body language, playfulness and sex appeal -- helped female participants create better impressions and improve their economic outcomes.

In one hypothetical scenario, for example, the technique resulted in male car-sellers accepting $1,077.08, on average, from a female buyer compared to $1,279.90 when a neutral negotiating approach was used.

"Just being friendly, women run the risk of people thinking they're pushovers," says lead author Laura Kray, a professor at the Haas School of Business at the University of California-Berkeley.

"But when friendliness is balanced with flirtation, which is a signal of dominance and confidence and self-regard, then they actually do better."

Previous research paints a real dilemma for female negotiators: A stereotypically masculine approach sees them less liked or considered overly demanding, while being stereotypically feminine sees them dismissed as too nice or easy prey. Kray's paper -- thought to be the first empirical study of its kind -- addresses the latter, presenting evidence flirtation can mitigate those penalties.

In one experiment with 100 students in an MBA negotiation course, males and females were equally likely to rely on personal charm in their bargaining style. But where males neither benefited nor were harmed by the technique, females who used it to seek compliance were evaluated as more effective by their negotiating partners.

Kray also found, in a number of experiments, that when women's behaviours were seen as more friendly than flirtatious, it led to worse economic outcomes.

The study, to appear in the October issue of the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, notes even Madeleine Albright, the first woman to be named U.S. Secretary of State, admitted in 2009 to having used flirtation as a tool for international diplomacy when in power.

Some feminist thinkers, however, suggest this step forward at the bargaining table is actually a step backward for women.

"To exercise 'feminine charm' or to flirt with men, one has to cater to a man's ego, flatter him. This is a subservient position to be in, not a position of power," says Chloe Taylor, assistant professor of women's studies at the University of Alberta.

"Rather than trying to determine whether women should flirt when negotiating with men, we should be problematizing the fact that men give preferential treatment to women who do flirt, and that men penalize women who don't flirt, while men are not required to be sexual in negotiations to get the deal."

Kray acknowledges that to be overtly sexual is demeaning and can have negative professional consequences. But she argues there are "shades of grey" to the approach.

"When I present this to audiences of women executives, and I say, 'Why don't you think about flirting a little bit?' loosening up is what I mean," says Kray. "People under-appreciate the value of playfulness."

 

-- Postmedia News

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 28, 2012 A19

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