The Canadian Press - ONLINE EDITION

'It lays in wait' -- Robin Williams describes his lifelong struggle with addiction

  • Print
A photo of the late actor Robin Williams playing Mork from Ork hangs with flowers and notes left by people paying their respects, at a makeshift memorial in Boulder, Colo., Tuesday Aug. 12, 2014, outside the home where the 80s TV series Mork & Mindy, starring Williams, was set. Williams, the Academy Award winner and comic supernova whose explosions of pop culture riffs and impressions dazzled audiences for decades and made him a gleamy-eyed laureate for the Information Age, died Monday, Aug. 11, in an apparent suicide. He was 63. (AP Photo/Brennan Linsley)

Enlarge Image

A photo of the late actor Robin Williams playing Mork from Ork hangs with flowers and notes left by people paying their respects, at a makeshift memorial in Boulder, Colo., Tuesday Aug. 12, 2014, outside the home where the 80s TV series Mork & Mindy, starring Williams, was set. Williams, the Academy Award winner and comic supernova whose explosions of pop culture riffs and impressions dazzled audiences for decades and made him a gleamy-eyed laureate for the Information Age, died Monday, Aug. 11, in an apparent suicide. He was 63. (AP Photo/Brennan Linsley)

NEW YORK, N.Y. - Addiction seemed to stalk Robin Williams, tempting him when he was weak and taunting him when he least expected it.

"It waits," he told "Good Morning America" in 2006. "It lays in wait for the time when you think, 'It's fine now, I'm OK.' Then, the next thing you know, it's not OK. Then you realize, 'Where am I? I didn't realize I was in Cleveland.'"

Williams, the comic whirlwind known for his hilarious stream-of-consciousness ramblings, was found dead Monday after he hanged himself in his San Francisco Bay Area home. He was 63.

On film, he played everything from a genie to a psychiatrist. In life, he battled periodic bouts of substance abuse and depression, opening up about them to journalists with self-deprecating wit and making his struggles fuel for his comedy.

"Cocaine for me was a place to hide. Most people get hyper on coke. It slowed me down," he told People in 1988.

One of his first wake-up calls was in 1982 when fellow comedian John Belushi died of a drug overdose. Williams briefly partied with the "Saturday Night Live" star the night he died and his friend's passing coupled with impending fatherhood forced the comedian to quit cocaine and alcohol cold turkey.

"The Belushi tragedy was frightening," Williams told People. "His death scared a whole group of show business people. It caused a big exodus from drugs. And for me, there was the baby coming. I knew I couldn't be a father and live that sort of life."

Sobriety lasted 20 years. Then the taunts became overwhelming again.

The Oscar winner spent time in Alaska -- as well as in Winnipeg -- in the spring of 2004 filming "The Big White," playing an Alaskan travel agent nearing bankruptcy. He told The Guardian in 2010 he felt lonely and overworked in Alaska.

"I was in a small town where it's not the edge of the world, but you can see it from there, and then I thought: drinking. I just thought, 'Hey, maybe drinking will help.' Because I felt alone and afraid," he told the newspaper. "And you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn't."

He told Parade magazine in 2013 that his relapse after two decades of sobriety was frighteningly simple:

"One day I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniel's. And then that voice — I call it the 'lower power' — goes, 'Hey. Just a taste. Just one.' I drank it, and there was that brief moment of, 'Oh, I'm OK!' But it escalated so quickly. Within a week I was buying so many bottles I sounded like a wind chime walking down the street."

A family intervention — "It was not an intervention so much as an ultimatum," he told Parade — persuaded him to seek alcohol abuse treatment at Oregon's Hazelden Springbrook centre in 2006.

He later told The New York Times that he hadn't confronted the underlying issues at the root of his addiction.

"There was still, in the background, this voice, like, 'Psst,'" he told the newspaper. "So when I relapsed, I went back hard. The one thing I hadn't dealt with was, how honest do you want to live?"

Williams continued his recovery by attending weekly AA meetings. But his second marriage, to film producer Marsha Garces, ended in 2008, largely because of his drinking, even though by then he was sober.

"You know, I was shameful, and you do stuff that causes disgust, and that's hard to recover from," he said. "You can say, 'I forgive you' and all that stuff, but it's not the same as recovering from it."

Recently, a new bout of depression prompted Williams to enter rehab. His publicist, Mara Buxbaum, said at the time that he made the decision because he needed to recharge after working for 18 months straight.

On Monday, the struggle finally ended.

What is your favourite Robin Williams movie? Join the conversation in the comments below.

 

Robin Williams - Iconic roles
History

Updated on Wednesday, August 13, 2014 at 6:59 AM CDT: Adds photo, adds graphic, adds question for discussion

August 14, 2014 at 10:09 AM: Clarifies location of relapse.

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Bowman pledges increased support for arts

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • Geese take cover in long grass in the Tuxedo Business Park near Route 90 Wednesday- Day 28– June 27, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • Susan and Gary Harrisonwalk their dog Emma on a peaceful foggy morning in Assiniboine Park – Standup photo– November 27, 2011   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

Do you think the Jets' three pre-season losses in a row are a sign of things to come?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google