Tale of smarmy serial dater inspires cries of 'humbug!'

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Warner Bros. Pictures Connor Mead (McConaughey) behaves like a giant Dickens fan and breaks up with three woman via teleconference call.

For the second time in the last 12 months, the premise of the Dickens classic A Christmas Carol has been adapted for a movie.

The first was the apparently unwatchable right-wing comedy An American Carol, which saw a buffoonish Michael Moore-like figure being shown the error of his liberal ways by George Washington, Gen. George S. Patton, and Bill O'Reilly (played by the real Bill O'Reilly), among others.

As Dickens tended to espouse notions of charity and compassion, he doubtless would have been spinning in his crypt knowing his work was being usurped by the kind of people for whom the Scrooge sentiment "Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?" could have functioned as a policy paper.

With Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Dickens' masterful story is further degraded to something like a grimy sex farce.

Handsome, wealthy, misogynistic photographer Connor Mead (Matthew McConaughey) is the kind of guy who breaks up with three women simultaneously, via conference call.

He shows up at the estate of his late Uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas) to serve as best man at the wedding of his kid brother Paul (Breckin Meyer). But in loudly opining that marriage is a sucker's game, Connor risks laying waste to the nuptials.

Hence, dear dead Uncle Wayne returns from the grave and hooks Connor up with the spirits of three women, only one of which is an ex-girlfriend and none of whom are actually dead, as near as I can figure.

Anyway, in being shown select scenes from his past, Connor realizes he was all the while carrying a torch for his childhood sweetheart, Jenny (Jennifer Garner), who happens to be a wedding guest.

Reportedly, this movie was meant to launch years ago, with Garner's hubby Ben Affleck in the lead role, but the studio was scared off following the debacle of Gigli.

Well, at least one of the Afflecks managed to dodge that bullet.

It's difficult to believe the script by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore survived to be made another day. It is to the credit of director Mark Waters (Mean Girls) that the film isn't a total write-off. Not only does he make the film look good, he somehow manages to get decent performances from most of the cast, including Lacey Chabert as Paul's emotionally volatile bride and Anne Archer as the sexy mother of the bride.

It's the men who fare worse, of course.

McConaughey continues to be the man men love to hate (at least men roped into going to date movies) because he is so unwilling to break from his overworked screen persona. (Yeah, you're handsome, self-confident and facile. I get it.) Michael Douglas, cheerfully exploiting his pre-Catherine Zeta-Jones rep as a Hollywood Lothario, is almost as glib and unfunny as McConaughey.

Almost.

randall.king@freepress.mb.ca

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Starring Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner

Globe, Kildonan Place, Polo Park, St. Vital.

14A

2 out of 5 stars

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 1, 2009 D5