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Winnipeg Free Press > Life & Style > Miss Lonelyhearts > You can afford to spend a lot of love on family

Miss Lonelyhearts

Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

You can afford to spend a lot of love on family

By: Miss Lonelyhearts / Maureen Scurfield

22/12/2009 1:00 AM | Comments: 24

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm 17 and broke and at a loss as to what to give my family for Christmas -- besides a request for a loan. Please help me. I have $20 to spend for four people and our big old dog. My family has a computer, but just a card is lame. -- S.O.S. Empty Pockets, Selkirk

Dear Empty Pockets: Here's an idea that makes people feel good, and your gift will be kept forever and remembered beyond all others.

Hit a dollar store to buy four 8x10 picture frames and a stationery store for discount patterned computer paper (not Christmas stuff, as this gift should never be out of season). For each person on your list, come up with as many positive character and personality traits each person possesses. Print the person's name in big font at the top. Then write their traits all over the piece of paper with a marker pen in your best handwriting and sign it "With Love" and your name.

Insert the paper under the glass, and shine off your fingerprints. Wrap it with paper from the dollar store and make a card online. DO NOT THROW THIS TOGETHER, as that will negate everything you do. Do it carefully and with obvious love. You'll have money left over to bake brownies and ice them and wrap them Christmas style put them in the fridge freezer. Take them out Christmas gift time and put them under the tree. Dig around and find old photos of each person and tape them to your brownie gifts. As for your big ol' dog, go to the nearest meat shop and buy him a safe bone with tasty marrow. Merry Christmas!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm responding to Feeling Angry and Powerless, the woman who was harassed on the street by six men in a truck. She had no control over the men's behaviour. It had nothing to do with the clothes she was wearing, whether she bowed her head or insulted them back. If women lived in a safe society, we could walk down the street stark naked and fear only frostbite. The reality is that we don't. I and many women have learned to fear men, which vastly restricts our freedom. Men in a group like that are unpredictable and have done terrible things to women. I'm glad that Angry wasn't further hurt but I think it was just a matter of luck. Speak up. Challenge this behaviour every chance you get. -- Feeling Angry and Powerful, Winnipeg

Dear Angry: Speak up to whom? The letter below speaks to that aspect.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts, In response to Feeling Angry and Powerless... Given that the pack of bozos were carrying on their inappropriate antics from inside a "work truck," it seems to me that any employer might want to know that their company is being represented in this manner. I'd not waste two seconds before picking up the phone and calling the company to whom this truck belonged. Speak with a manager and then calmly relay pertinent details, your concern and perhaps what you think the employer ought to be concerned with and lastly, your requested course of action (perhaps a written apology). I would not hesitate to follow up the call with a written letter, either. I can guarantee that no employer would be satisfied knowing that their employees were harassing a citizen while on the job or while representing the company (in their vehicle). Good luck! -- Vicariously Ticked-Off

Dear Ticked: Your suggestion is bang-on. Not only were these individuals doing something awful with their group mentality, they were doing it from a work vehicle. The young woman who was upset should definitely call their place of business even now, if she has the business name from the truck. -- Miss L.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 22, 2009 D4

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24 Commentscomment icon

Babyblue i am well aware that this has been used in court cases ..and i think that its horrible....no one should be put on the spot for being abused...no one..

I am not saying you think highly of yourself....your own words do that ....

East of Eden: LOL, did you cut and paste your comment from a few days ago when someone else said you didn't get the point, or is that a standard line you have memorized?

If you "obviously" did get the point, I think you would have understood which most of the women, aside from Babyblue01, were saying instead of continuing to blame women for what they are wearing.

I have been around both rowdy females and males who scream out obscene things towards the opposit sex. People can be compared to animals in certain areas where when alone they act with one personality but when in a pack you can never tell how they will behave. If someone yells and it offends you that much and they are in a commercial vehicle then call the business, if it is really bad record a plate number and call the police.

Empty: Take a picture with each of you family members and frame it with frames from the dollar store. Buy your dog a tennis ball and go play with him.

CMS: I obviously DID get what others were saying. Just because my perspective and opinion differs from the herd does not mean that I did not get it. Please do not presume to know what I do and do not understand. I could very well say the same thing about what the rest of the commenters said but I respect others' right to their own opinion and perspective. Please show me the same respect by not presuming to tell me what I do and do not get.

Empty Pockets: I have experienced being poor for christmas, is a terrible feeling of gut wrenching guilt everytime you get handed a gift, but you can get arround it, here are some verry cheep gifts I have given in the past that got good responses.

1. If you have any kind of talent, use it. I like to paint so I have painted pictures for my loved ones. People have appriciated the time and effort and I could get canvas at the dollar store for cheep.

2. The dollar store also has wiker baskets and celaphane wrap, if you want to bake some treats, its extra special if its in a nice basket wraped in celephane, you will fool people into thinking you bought it. I have also made flower arangements for my mom like this (again all materials found a the dollar store)

3. One year I had absolutly no monely, so I sat down amd wrote stories about everyone I knew. I picked my best memory and made it into a little book, I of course emblished on details to make them funny, heroic etc. I added photo's of us together, fake copy rights etc, and prited it booklet style on high quality paper. My best friend pulls it out everytime I visit still.

4. If you have money coming in the future, plan a day that you are going to spend with that person, make an itenary of everything you will do that day. Spending quality time with someone you love I think is one of the best gifts you can get.


Good Luck and Merry Christmas

East of Eden: obviously you don`t get what most of the women, and some of the men are saying here. Read Dean K`s comment that it doesn`t matter what women wear, there are going to be men who are going to act immature and yell out things to women just because they are women.

The issue is not about dressing classy or trashy. One of my pet peeves is how some people dress, ie trashy, not age appropriate, dressing down such as wearing sweats out in public, wearing socks with sandals, the list goes on. So believe me when I say I get what you`ve said on previous posts about how women dress. However, that`s not the issue here. It doesn`t matter what the woman was wearing, those guys saw an opportunity to make inappropriate comments.

well I don't share everyone's opinion... nobody seems to understand my point. I think you all are kind of ignorant. In minus 40 weather you can all go to the corners wearing your thigh highs for all I care. I don't think highly of myself, nor do i think I'm better than men. I just think that if you put yourself out there inappropriately, people will get the wrong impression. And as a matter of fact, many a court case had been that way, in which the woman was put on the spot for the way she dressed, or if she had had previous sexual relations with anyone. I'm sure that's not the case anymore, but I'm not naive. I think it's naive to think you can go out on the streets dressed any way you want. I also think the 80's called and wants their ugly boots back.

Is it just me, or are there tons of pretty girls in this city and just %$#&loads of nasty men?

I have to agree with Babyblue01 on this one - even with the difference in our genders, age, and circumstances, what she says is bang on.

Tired of Being Taxed: Your first paragraph sounds awfully harsh to me. We men are not 100% to blame, let me tell you. Women are also violent toward women just as men are violent toward men. How about mothers who spoil their sons but treat their daughters like second-class citizens? How about mothers who abuse their children? Please do not lay the blame entirely on us men. As for a woman being proud of her body, she can be proud of her body without displaying her wares to the world. Look at the great, respected women present and past - did they have their bodies on display? No. One of the most respected women in modern day is Queen Rania of Jordan. Does she have her headlights on display? Does she show off her flesh? No. Her works and her mind are her focal points. So, please, back off on the anti-male rhetoric and give us something a bit more rational.

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