DEAR RHONA: My husband's health has deteriorated to the point that he had to go into a care home. He is still mentally sharp and enjoys activities, though he needs a lot of physical help with his daily care. The problem is that the place he is in has lovely staff and friendly residents, but the facility itself is tired and old. He likes it there and wants to stay. I feel bad that my husband is in an old hospital-type building and not a nicer place. -- Feeling Guilty
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Dear FG: Feeling guilty about what? You didn't do anything wrong and your husband is happy. A nice view and fresh paint are no substitute for feeling accepted and appreciated. The main concern is that your husband has a community of people he enjoys and who enjoy his company. When health issues lead to living in a nursing home, social interactions are the most important barometer of happiness. Don't apologize for your husband's residence -- it sounds like he is well cared for.
www.rhona.com
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