Dear diary: Teen years make us laugh

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WAYNE.GLOWACKI@FREEPRESS.MB.CA Barbara Melnyk-Gehring (left) and Linda Klein.

Dougie E. Werner, where are you? Barbara Melnyk-Gehring is back in town and she says you've got some explaining to do.

When Melnyk-Gehring, now 40, was a little girl, you figured highly in her diary, Dougie. She even kept a Valentine she gave to you and you tossed back like it was rancid.

Oh yeah, Dougie, she hasn't forgotten any of it.

It's just your poor luck the little girl grew up to be an actress, comedienne and playwright, the creator of Girls Only: The Secret Comedy of Women, a very funny show that deals with everything from childhood crushes (hello, Dougie) through to menopause.

The Denver-based Melnyk-Gehring (who grew up in East St. Paul) and partner Linda Klein have been knocking them dead with their banter since the afternoon the friends read their diaries out loud to each other. They decided the journals would make a very funny two-woman show.

Yes, Dougie, you're in Girls Only, which opened at MTC Warehouse Friday night.

If you're female, the odds are good you kept a diary during your angst-filled young life. It was the repository of secret crushes, doodles and bitter comments about your parents and the mean girls at school.

Before journalling became an adult preoccupation, girls were scribbling their heartfelt thoughts in notebooks, hardbound books and pieces of lined paper. They'd be hidden under a mattress or in a bedside table, tucked away from the prying eyes of mothers and siblings.

The diaries often had a tiny lock and key, primarily for show. The mechanism was as secure as a fence made of gauze.

The lock was symbolic, a way of emphasizing the private nature of these intimate thoughts. The idea of someone reading your diary was as devastating as the thought of walking naked through your junior high school.

But actors Melnyk-Gehring and Klein did exactly that. The reading out loud, not the walking naked part. The friends read their diaries to each other. They found their young heartbreaks and crushes hysterical.

Naturally, they decided to write a play called Girls Only centring on their diaries and the stories girls and women rarely speak out loud. When they rediscovered their junior high school diaries, the friends realized they had enough material for a show.

"It's more of a variety show," says Klein. "There's sketch comedy and singing and dancing. "We definitely chose what made us laugh."

The Warehouse set is a tribute to their childhoods. The bed and other furniture are replicas of what Melnyk-Gehring had in her room as a kid. There's a McDonald's growth chart written in her mother's hand. A Star Wars poster decorates the wall. Most women over 30 will see something that reminds them of their own childhood.

Any teenagers who take in the show might need to have the record player explained.

The actors say part of the appeal of their show is the universality of women's experiences.

"Putting on pantyhose," laughs Melnyk-Gehring. "When are we more vulnerable? When do we look so awkward?"

The show allows women to embrace their teen years and look forward to a life beyond motherhood and work.

"It's fun to watch the women laugh at themselves and at the experience," says Klein. "You get book clubs, church clubs, best friends. Word of mouth spreads about the show. We're always amazed at how quickly it sells out."

The pair want to build a Girls Only franchise. The show is still running in Denver with different actresses. It's about to move to North Carolina. They'd like to do a cross-country tour and have multiple concurrent productions.

The biggest conclusion they're reached during their performances?

"I think Laurie and I have realized we were both dorks. But everyone else was a dork too. You take everything so seriously because you don't realize everyone is going through the same thing."

And, while men are welcome, the audiences are overwhelmingly female.

Although they'd probably made an exception for you Dougie E. Werner.

lindor.reynolds@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition March 20, 2010 A7