Forgive me for harshing your mellow, but there's some terrible news I need to share this morning.
There's no pleasant way to do this, so I'll just blurt it out -- if you need to catch up on your (bad word) yardwork, this is the weekend to do it.
OK, before you -- and by "you" I mean "guys like me who would rather have a root canal than do yardwork" -- fly into a blind rage, you should know this advice doesn't come from me.
No, it comes from my buddy Dale Marciski at Environment Canada, who wants you to know some southerly winds will bring us above-normal temperatures and a little taste of sunshine today.
The outlook calls for a mix of sun and clouds, a touch of fog in the morning and a high of 13 C, which is slightly above the normal high of 9 C at this time of year. We're looking at a mix of sun and clouds Sunday and Monday, with a high of 7 C both days. It's downhill after that, because Tuesday through Wednesday will be cooler with a 60 per cent chance of rain each day. I bravely pointed out to Dale the weather has been pretty "blah" lately, and he agreed that was an intelligent description.
"We've had a lot of low-pressure systems going over southern Manitoba in the last few weeks," he said.
"These lows give us more clouds and more precipitation. That's October. Some Octobers have been quite frightful, with lots of snow."
If you feel like this October has been cooler than normal, you are very perceptive. But Dale noted our mean temperature (an average of the daily highs and nightly lows) so far is 5.4 C, which is nowhere near the record cold of -0.5 C set in October 2002.
If you feel like it's been raining a lot more than usual, again, you are extremely clever. Dale said there have been 40 to 60 millimetres of rain in various parts of the city so far this month, compared with the 36 millimetres we normally get in the entire month. In September, we had a total of four millimetres.
If you want to beat the blahs and yardwork isn't your thing, snag some tickets for the West End Cultural Centre's 25th anniversary concert tonight, featuring a ton of local artists. Tickets are $28.50 at Ticketmaster. Or call 204-956-2792 to get your mitts on tickets for the final performances of the RWB's production of Twyla Tharp's The Princess and the Goblin. I personally rooted for the goblins.
Speaking of scary creatures, head to the Marine Museum in Selkirk for their Halloween Haunt, which runs from 6-9 p.m. Admission is $1 to $7. Get details at www.marinemuseum.ca .
For those of you terrified of goblins and ballet, you can always stay home and fill those (bad word) paper bags with enough soaking wet leaves to sink a (very bad word) battleship. As my weather expert buddy Dale put it: "If you need to get it done, this weekend is the time because the rest of the week looks rainy. On the other hand, you could just leave it until April!"
April sounds good, Dale. I'll tell my wife we can relax for the next five months, because it's never smart to argue with an expert.