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I have a long list of grievances -- so let me get started...

By: Lindor Reynolds

10/02/2010 1:00 AM | Comments: 37

No one will ever accuse me of having an excess of patience.I am often ill-tempered, frequently snappish and always just a fast elbow away from honking at the car dawdling in front of me.

I don't do it, but only because my husband frequently reminds me those could be my grandparents driving a plodding 20 kilometres an hour and drifting carelessly between lanes. My grandparents are wreaking havoc in heaven, I snap, between clenched teeth. They've caused all the trouble they can in this world.

I try to remember writer William Faulkner's words: "People need trouble -- a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don't mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy."

I am not a vegetable. I'm more of a crab.

I have a special hit list, comprised mostly of strangers who, either because their mothers didn't teach them better or because they actually don't give a hot damn, get under my skin.

First up are the convenience store counter people who, failing to say hello or make eye contact, drop your change on the counter next to your outstretched hand.

Next, serving people who greet diners the age of their parents as "guys." As in, "How you guys doing tonight?" I know they're trained that way and they don't really care. It's not their fault that the middle-aged insist upon coming out past dark and want to drink their wine before ordering dinner and take their time between courses and generally drag down the young and cool atmosphere in the restaurant.

I tip well. Don't you guys rush me.

Next up, the overly polite, circular logic-using, "customer service" representatives for large corporations. Monday night, my mother asked me to contact Air Canada's frequent flyer program. She wanted to know how many points she has.

I started online and quickly realized she'd never registered on a computer. She had no password to enter. I called the Aeroplan number, sat through several minutes of background music and finally got an operator. I explained the situation.

She said I'd have to enter my mother's password. I explained she didn't have one. I asked her how many points were in the account. She said she couldn't tell me without the password. My mother would have to register online.

I started grinding my teeth. She can't register online because she doesn't use a computer. Couldn't Air Canada just send her a letter with her points total? No, said the customer service representative patiently, because they no longer send out letters.

I placed the phone down gently before spittle began to hit my keyboard.

Let's see what else annoys me: People who don't hold the door for you; cab drivers who don't help old people in and out; drivers who don't use their turn signals; people who park in handicapped spots because they're "only going to be a minute"; folks who talk during movies; dog owners who don't pick it up; families who go to Costco on Saturday to snack, not shop; the pressure to buy a cheap red flocked heart to prove you love your partner on Valentine's Day; the fact that most of the food I love is bad for me and the fact that I now look at least my age in photographs.

You can make your own list. Send it to me if you like. Just remember what journalist Sydney J. Harris said: "If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?"

Tiny. I'm tiny. You know what I really hate? Columnists who use their valuable newspaper real estate to air their grievances.

Sorry guys. Your table's ready now.

lindor.reynolds@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 10, 2010 A6

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37 Commentscomment icon

People who make me brake, ie when driving along a main street and vehicles come out from a side street and force you to slow down for them, yet there's no one behind you. Why can't they wait?

Bernice Talooniha: your comment "Drivers who honk and speed by while I'm driving contentedly at my own pace, only to have me catch up to them at the next light." makes me wonder if you're doing the speed limit or not. I sure hope you're not the van going 60 in an 80 on Bishop Grandin and Kenaston every single morning, driving contentedly at your own pace, causing major backups as everyone tries to get around the slow moving vehicle. That's a major accident waiting to happen.

Bernice Talooniha

I like your list!

I'd like to add:

Car dealerships that don't post prices or have a salesman in sight! Superstore's prices - where the big bold price is only if you buy a certain quantity. Gas attendants that sit & talk while you're waiting for their "full service". People who think "The customer is always right" when they yell at you over $2 part when they're 3 years past warranty.... oh I could go on....

Great article Lindor!

Lindor: Wow! I have never met you, as well. But, I love you! I think this type of column should be an ongoing thing. Maybe a lot of good, will come of it. I noticed that most of the grievances are about drivers, and rightly so.
I also liked the ones that complained about poor parenting. This is a very serious issue. Bad parents usually make bad kids. Some people shouldn't have kids, as they don't realize (or care) that kids are a 24/7 job.

"Folks" is a perfectly acceptable alternative to "guys" and it doesn't have the gender bias. "Y'all" is a great one too though tough to pull off with a Canadian accent. "You all" isn't too bad.

-customers that think they are always right when there not
-people that cant merge
-people that cut u off only to go below the speed limit
-elderly drivers that go below the speed limit no matter what season( if your that scared or can't see you shouldnt be driving)
- tail gaters( u ride my bumper i slam on my brakes )
- changing lanes with out signaling
- elderly people that think they rule the world
- farmer blowing your nose in a public place or in the store

Drivers who honk and speed by while I'm driving contentedly at my own pace, only to have me catch up to them at the next light.
Drivers who don't know how to use the turning lane at route 90 and Sterling Lyon Parkway properly. The whole design is based on drivers having some courtesy.
Goodie bags at birthday parties, spoiled kids, parents who spoil them. Drunks, deadbeat dads and traffic lights that turn red even though there is no one waiting to go from the other direction.

What about the idiot who was driving in front of me yesterday with the placard for the "Just slow down" MPI campaign who was doing a decent speed, but then suddenly slammed on the brakes and made an illegal U turn, all without signaling? I hit a patch of ice and nearly hit the moron. Yep, just slow down works but so does being aware of your surroundings too!

also:
Any parent who when confronted by a teacher or other professional about their child's misbehavior who sits there and says "Not MY child. MY child is a little angel!" Well guess what sweetie, YOUR child just set fire to the garbage in the bathroom.

- people behind me when I'm turning left who think they can force me to turn sooner by nearly rear-ending me and honking - guess what, I know how my vehicle and tires perform and I can see the oncoming traffic - how about you back off an inch? Maybe if I weren't watching you I could pay enough attention to turn!

- tailgaters - the closer you follow, the slower I go.

Wow, you need a Winter Vacation.
I'll make sure I don't accidently bump into your shopping cart at Superstore when browsing the newly, poorly changed aisles at Kenaston.
Never critisize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
That way, if you upset them they are a mile away and barefoot.

--servers asking "how's that tasting"?
--"van mothers of Canada" driving through mall parking lots like its the Daytona 500(&their van always has a big 'Baby On Board' sign on it)
--bike riders in winter
--special parking spots for "mothers"
--people who pay more than one bill at drivethru ATMs
----& my personal favorite----drivers who don't signal......If I can stop near them I ask them where they got their vehicle because i was forced to get one with too many options-- like turn signals!

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