Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Jingle bells! Infidels!

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Jingle bells! Infidels!

With apologies to Brian Pallister

Opening up your mouth

When Pollock comes to play

You should have stopped to think about

Just what you meant to say

You're not just any shmuck

You're opposition chief

What fun it is to watch you go

And cause such needless grief

Infidels! Infidels! You don't worship God!

Your belief in nothingness is tantamount to fraud!

Infidels! Infidels! You don't worship Christ!

Without a baby Jesus all you have is snow and ice!

OK, that was my bad

I'm sorry to offend

But really it was just a joke

Why can't you comprehend?

The NDP are jerks

They're just trying to make hay

My real mistake was failing to

Know you'd hear what I say

Infidels! Infidels! Silly atheists!

You believe nothing, so have fun upon your death!

Infidels! Infidels! Stare into that void!

Go hang with your agnostic friends; I hope you're both annoyed.

Adapted, poorly, from One Horse Open Sleigh, written by James Lord Pierpoint in 1857.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 7, 2013 D2

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