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New home, new rules for men in the kitchen

South Sudanese spouses prepare Mother's Day meal

By: Carol Sanders

Posted: 05/22/2012 1:00 AM | Comments: 0

From right, Kuac Madit, Ashuein Alor, Jurkuc Yaak and other South Sudanese men serve meals at St. Matthews Anglican Church on Sunday. (JOHN WOODS/ WINNIPEG FREE PRESS) Photo Store

South Sudanese men in Winnipeg embraced a new tradition Sunday and broke with an old one.

They celebrated Mother's Day for the first time -- albeit a week late, and the men did all the cooking -- taboo to their Dinka tribe.

"It's unbelievable," said Rebecca Deng, a mother and cook with a catering business who never thought she'd see the day.

On Sunday, she sat down to a church feast for 100 -- all prepared by the fellas. It was to be a Mother's Day celebration but postponed when one of the moms in the tight-knit community fell ill and was hospitalized in critical condition. A week later, she was recovering and the men were back in the kitchen cooking up a storm.

"Traditionally, in our country, the man doesn't cook at all," Deng said in an interview before the event.

"The world is changing," said the woman, whose family came to Canada in 2007.

To her 13-year-old Canadianized son, Chol, it's no big deal.

"I used to go to an after-school program with cooking classes," he said. "They taught us new things, different things. It was fun." Now he's learning some traditional recipes from his mom.

"Here we are in Canada, and we try to push to be in a different culture," said Deng. "We're representing two countries now."

In South Sudan, men would traditionally take care of the livestock and the housing and the women handled and prepared the food, said Rev. Reuben Garang of Emmanuel Mission at St. Matthew's Anglican Church, which hosted the meal for the mothers.

In their former country, a man is not welcome in the kitchen, said Garang. If a man's hanging around close to where the food is cooked, he's seen as a greedy person wanting to eat first, he said.

On Sunday, 10 men were hanging around their kitchens preparing a feast of traditional meat and vegetable dishes. Some had experience.

During 23 years of civil war in Sudan, thousands of kids were separated from their families. Many of those "Lost Boys" made their way to refugee camps.

Abraham Monybuny said he starting cooking at refugee camps out of necessity. If they wanted home cooking, they had to figure out how to cook it themselves, he said.

"When there's no women around, men do cook," said John Agoor.

Cooking in a Canadian kitchen is a piece of cake compared to South Sudan, admitted Maciek Mark. There's no collecting wood and hunching over fires, he said. The six-footer appreciates the height of electric stoves and kitchen cupboards.

"Canadian kitchens are designed for a tall man," said Mark.

His fellow gourmet, Agoor, was preparing kudra for the women. It's a traditional dish with green leafy vegetables and meat. Agoor figured it would take him about four hours to make. It takes Deng the caterer less than an hour and a half to prepare, but she's happy to leave the cooking to the men for a change and relax.

"Women are tired," said Monybuny. Families can't afford to have someone stay home and do the cooking and cleaning in Canada, said the security guard. His wife is staying at home -- for now -- with their 16-month-old baby.

"Everybody in Canada needs to work or go to school and get a job," he said. It's not fair to expect women to do all the cooking anymore, said Monybuny. "Everybody is working and everybody can't cook?"

Thirteen-year-old Chol thinks once older men get in the kitchen, they won't want to leave.

"If they see how much fun it gets in the kitchen, they'd want to do it."

It's not an easy change for everyone to digest, including women, said his mom. When men try to cook, women will often turn their noses up at it. "We don't want to eat their food," she said.

Not this time, though, at the feast for the moms.

"I'm going to dance and come with my plate."

carol.sanders@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 22, 2012 B4

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