DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend gets the hiccups when we have intercourse. It's the up-and-down movement. At first I thought it was cute and funny, but now I find it annoying to have her hiccuping over my shoulder. How can we get this fixed? I am losing interest in this relationship. -- Not Laughing Anymore, Downtown
Dear Not Laughing: Talk to her about it. There's a good chance she's nervous about the sexual feelings, pain she's anticipating and doesn't tell you about, or a feeling of being uncomfortable in this relationship -- a psychological thing. Feeling nervous can make you gulp air and burp or get the hiccups. She should also see her doctor about it. If anyone out there has had this happen, please write in and share your experience and any possible home remedies.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: When things start to go wrong in a relationship, I have a tendency to say nothing and "hand the guy the shovel," just to see how far he will dig himself into the hole and possibly bury himself. My best friend says I should give a guy chances by helping him correct his bad behaviour when he annoys me, but I disagree. What do you think? -- Been Fooled Before, Winnipeg
Dear Fooled: It's best to see what a person is really like before you get too emotionally involved to believe what you see and hear. Let them work that shovel and show the truth of who they are. If you think that something they are doing is not too big a deal and you'd really like to keep seeing that new person, then tell them what's wrong and what adjustments you are asking for. That gives them a chance. If you see evidence of a deal-breaker like dishonesty, cruelty, game-playing, addiction, or creepy behaviour in the past, let them keep shovelling so you can beat a hasty exit and know it was the right decision.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I thought I saw my girlfriend hiding some cocaine in the back of her drawer. When she left the room, I checked and it was white powder. I tasted it. Not face powder; definitely coke. She doesn't know that I know, and I don't want to be involved with someone who has a habit she has to hide from me. Should I just dump her on some other pretence or tell her what I found and have the big crying scene and the fake promises you get from girls who are in love with coke? -- Been There, Done That, Tuxedo
Dear Been There: Why are you asking? You already know you don't want the scene with her. You don't have to lie. Just tell her you saw her hide the cocaine and you looked and tasted it, and it was coke, and that you're out -- no second chances. Then get out before the crying scene begins. That way, you are being honest and haven't made up some big blarney story. She gets some consequences for her action -- losing you over her drugs -- and it may help her in the next relationship.
Questions or comments? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, R2X 3B6