Remember a while back when The Weather Column gleefully informed you warmer weather was coming and spring was right around the corner?
Well, on the upside, we could not have been more accurate in terms of the big picture, because warmer spring weather will eventually get here. On the downside, we may have been just a tiny bit off the mark when it comes to the minor details, such as when this warmer weather will arrive and how far away the corner is.
Based on what we are seeing outside our window as we write these words, we firmly believe the last dollops of snow will vanish from our driveway in mid-August.
Which is our scientific way of informing you the weather picture for the next week is looking a bit bleak. Our Environment Canada friends -- who almost never make this stuff up -- say today we are looking at a daytime high of just 2 C, which is a touch below the normal high of 9 C at this point in spring.
What's more -- and if you are holding anything sharp such as a butcher's knife or a pair of scissors, we suggest you put them down -- there's snow in the forecast today, somewhere in the neighbourhood of five to 10 centimetres. We can look for snow ending early in the evening, then clouds with a 30 per cent chance of flurries.
On Sunday, it's going to get even colder -- we're talking a frosty high of -3 C -- but there shouldn't be a cloud in the sky. In fact, it should be sunny pretty much all week, which means you will be able to watch your toes freeze and fall off because, on Thursday, the mercury will drop to -6 C.
The chilly outlook has inspired us to write the following heart-warming poem in an effort to bring some sunshine to your slightly frozen soul:
"'Twas 24 days into spring/And all through the city/Everyone was feeling gloomy/Because the weather was so... ridiculous!"
Yes, we realize it doesn't rhyme, but we feel it conveys the appropriate sense of angst caused by the fact that winter, like the Mafia in the Godfather movies, doesn't want to let us go.
If you are looking for a reason to get out of bed, here's one: The eighth annual Ultimate Women's Show is being held this weekend at Assiniboia Downs in conjunction with (prepare to squeal with excitement) the Ultimate Craft Show. Admission is $5 at the door and we're talking shopping, beauty, crafts, health and wellness, jewelry, fitness, entertainment and more.
Here is a direct quote from the website promoting the event: "The Ultimate Women's Show is a truly female-licious, sensational, entertaining and exciting weekend out for each and every woman visiting." No word yet on when the Regular Women's Show will be held.
As for guys, you will be thrilled to know an autograph session with just-retired star CFL quarterback Anthony Calvillo -- pro football's all-time passing yards leader -- is being held at the Park Theatre today from noon to 3 p.m. Tickets are $20 at www.theparktheatervido.com. If we pool our cash, Bomber fans, maybe we can lure him out of retirement. It's worth a shot.
What with being a Type 2 diabetic, we'd also like you to know that on Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. at the Wellness Institute at Seven Oaks General Hospital, Winnipeg ophthalmologist Dr. Ravi Dookeran is doing a special presentation titled Diabetes & Eye Care. Admission is by donation.
Here's something you might not know: Diabetes is the single leading cause of blindness in Canada, and, in Manitoba, an estimated 112,000 people (10 per cent of our population) are living with diabetes.
And now, in the worst transition ever, we are also going to suggest you visit The Forks this weekend from 1 to 4 p.m. for the Ciao! Chocolate Festival accompanied by the Tour du Chocolat, wherein you can buy a $7 tasting passport that will let sample the decadent delights. Listen to this: "Chocolate flavours will range from the traditional to the innovative with unique creations like chocolate marshmallows, chocolate bacon and deep-fried Mars bars."
Seriously? Chocolate bacon! Deep-fried Mars bars! Suddenly we are feeling a bit more cheerful. When you think about it, who needs (bad word) spring anyway?