When personal is so much more

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Linda Warkentin says she can sympathize with the position Siloam Mission finds itself in. (RUTH.BONNEVILLE@FREEPRESS.MB.CA )

There is privacy.

And then there is secrecy.

There are personal reasons for people to leave jobs. And there are personnel reasons that can involve personal behaviour and, potentially, damage a brand.

Unless they're handled in a transparent and timely way.

David Letterman and Tiger Woods come to mind.

Which brings me back to last Saturday's column about a charitable organization that helps some of the poorest and most vulnerable people in this city with the hundreds of thousands of dollars it raises through donations from people who care.

John Mohan's mysterious departure from Siloam Mission last month was as silent as it was sudden.

Siloam didn't publicly acknowledge the resignation of its popular leader and the main architect of one of the city's havens for the homeless until an online Christian organization asked 10 days later.

Christianweek.org also reported Mohan had surrendered his credentials as an ordained Church of the Nazarene minister.

But the brief statement that followed simply characterized Mohan's resignation as a "personal" matter.

"It's not our story to tell," said Siloam's Calgary-based board chairman, Riley Coulter. "John resigned and it's his story to tell."

But Coulter was wrong.

It's not just John Mohan's story to tell.

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Linda Warkentin was the director of communication and development at Siloam until she resigned Nov. 21, the same day as Mohan. She was also rumoured to be the woman at the centre of the reason for Mohan's departure.

I'd never met her, but when she called we agreed to meet.

Warkentin, who's in the midst of a divorce, was in a hurry.

By Thursday, she had left the city, packing her three kids into her car, heading home to Saskatchewan to live with her parents for the next six months while she figures out what to do with the rest of her life.

So for hours Saturday night -- and again Monday -- the 38-year-old related how, gradually over her year and a half at Siloam, she had been drawn into an emotional and finally a sexual affair with 51-year-old John Mohan.

The only time she wept while telling what happened, and the consequences of what happened, was when I asked about her children.

She was clear-eyed when it came to talking about the man she reported to directly, the man she feels over time drew her into the affair while they were working alongside his wife of more than 30 years. It was his wife confronting Mohan with her suspicions on Nov. 20 that triggered Warkentin's next-day resignation.

Warkentin also claimed another woman working at Siloam had confessed to an emotional relationship with Mohan.

I heard about the second woman last week from a well-placed source within the organization. She has also now left Siloam.

The Siloam situation highlights the legal dangers in workplace relationships between a manager and subordinate and how it can risk making resignations more than personal.

The inherent danger being the power imbalance. And the potential for how that power imbalance can be used.

Warkentin said she was coming forward because she was concerned the mistake she and Mohan made -- and how Siloam had mishandled it publicly -- had harmed the mission.

She wanted to take responsibility.

"And I feel a little angry... I've lost everything."

She said she was angry with Mohan because she believed he loved her and they were going to make a life together and because he hadn't stepped forward publicly and explained why he was leaving."When I read your article, I just thought of how much work has gone into that organization... I think it's a shame for the organization to come under fire for something that I did."

But "the truth is going to come out. It always does.

"It's always better to just say what happened and everybody is sorry for it. It's a terrible mistake. And I recognize it for what it is."

Warkentin wasn't without sympathy for Siloam and its situation.

"I know the intention behind it. They're trying to protect and not cause hurt to several different people."

She said if she hadn't been involved in the affair -- and still in her former role as director of communications -- she would have recommended Mohan make a statement disclosing why he was leaving.

The week after she left, Siloam Mission's human resources manager, Vicki Olatundun, called her to a lunch at McNally Robinson Polo Park and presented her with a contract.

And a deal.

In exchange for severance pay that amounted to about $5,000, she said, Olatundun wanted her to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

She refused.

"Because it just seemed like they were asking me not to tell the truth and... I knew eventually I would have to say something, to a counsellor or someone.

"I just asked for a reference so I would be able to carry on and provide for my kids."

They are aged 13, 12 and six.

She didn't get the reference.

I asked Warkentin if the contract also included a section that, if signed, would prevent her from suing the mission.

"Yeah," she replied. "It's in there."

But Warkentin hasn't taken legal action and she said she has no intention of going to a lawyer.

"ö "ö "ö

There may not be anything in Siloam's policy manual about this kind of workplace relationship, but there's human rights and respectful workplace legislation.

Employment lawyer Garth Smorang couldn't speak specifically to Warkentin's allegations, but he could comment generally.

"There is a presumption in a workplace, that when a person in power is having a relationship with a subordinate, that the person in power may have used their power in order to create that relationship."

Smorang said sometimes these kinds of relationships -- which may be completely natural, innocent and honest -- can be accommodated by divulging them and, if appropriate, having the employer change the reporting structure.

People are human. They fall in love.

Affairs happen.

But he agreed it's not uncommon for managers, including high-level managers, to lose their jobs over situations where they are having a relationship with subordinates.

That's the result of the power imbalance between managers and employees.

And, again, how the power imbalance can be used.

He explained it's the kind of power imbalance that can happen in relationships between doctor and patient, lawyer and client and professor and student.

"You, in the context of your relationship with that person, become aware of their weakness, vulnerability or reliance on you, and if you prey upon them because of that power imbalance, that's the offence."

It can be done without direct threat, he suggested, by building up the subordinates' self worth and making them feel as if you can't do without them... but reminding them from time to time you do control their destiny.

It's that sort of subtle groundwork, Smorang says, that can lead to a relationship that can appear to be willingly embraced.

In retrospect, Warkentin doesn't feel the relationship was honest.

She feels "played" by both Mohan and the organization.

After a while, the lines began to blur. And eventually the judgment.

"There's the work-factor focus of what the work was, there was the friendship that was developed... There's a lot of levels of trust in there."

I asked what she meant by trust.

"I trusted him as my friend. I trusted him as an employer. I trusted him on a personal level."

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Friday I called Siloam Mission's acting CEO Sherwood Armbruster and left a message saying Linda Warkentin had come forward.

An email from Moran arrived late afternoon:

Hello Gordon;

It is my understanding that you are writing a column piece based on an interview with Linda Warkentin.

Although I wish I could respond in depth to provide you with more balance and substantiation to your piece, I do acknowledge that I did have an inappropriate relationship with Linda that necessitated I step down as CEO of Siloam Mission. My actions and decisions were in violation of the best interests of Siloam Mission and brought great harm to my marriage and family.

I have been in extensive counselling, and Brenda and I are working hard to heal the damage I did to our marriage.

My deepest apologies to those I have hurt through this, but it is my hope that Siloam Mission will continue to be supported by the community for the sake of those less fortune in our city whom they serve. Our family respectfully requests as much privacy as possible as we work through this difficult time together.

Sincerely, John Mohan

"ö "ö "ö

There is privacy.

And then there is secrecy.

There are personal reasons for people to leave jobs. And there are personnel reasons that can involve personal behaviour and, potentially, damage a brand.

Unless they're handled in a transparent and timely way.

gordon.sinclair@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 19, 2009 B1